Don't fart in bed!
>> This is a story about a couple who had been happily
>> married for years. The
only friction in their
>> marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
>> every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his
>> wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make
>> her gasp for air.
>> Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
>> them off because it was making her sick. He told her !
>> he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
>> She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
>> one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by
>> and he continued to rip them out. Then one
>> Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey
>> for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she
>> looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey
>> innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
>> parts and a malicious
thought came to her. She took
>> the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound
>> asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she
>> pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants
>> and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
>> Some time later she heard her husband waken with his
>> usual ! trumpeting which was followed by a blood
>> curdling scr eam and the sound of frantic footsteps as
>> he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly
>> control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
>> tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned
>> she had got him back pretty good. About twenty
>> minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
>> bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his
>> face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was
the
>> matter. He said,
>> "Honey, you were right. All these years you have
>> warned me and I didn't
>> listen to you."
>> What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always
>> told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
>> out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace
>> of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think
>&! gt; I got most of them back in!