Još malo mudrosti

[Lurd]

Bilo je ovoga mnogo i svi smo čitali ponešto, ali mudrosti nikada nije na odmet. Daklem, evo još malo izjava fudbalera:

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as
long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - Ronnie Whelan (moj favorit)

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of
bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo (ne shvatam šta je ovde sporno)

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of
which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and
hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll
win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked
out.' - Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week,
but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan
Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on
the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at
Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he
was out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' -
Ian Wright (tako treba)

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - Ugo Ehiogu

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' - Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I
live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate

I, naravno, evrgrin medju izjavama i najveća mudrost od kada su počele da se prenose izjave fudbalera:

"Ako je kokain droga, ja sam narkoman" - Klaudio Kanidja.

Uzdravlje!

[Spider Jerusalem]

I od svega toga nije ni cudo sto se izrodilo ovo:

"Well you just go out there and give your 110%!"
- Brandon Fraser, Bedazzled

[iNCUBUs]

Moj omiljeni, nije citat ali ima veze sa jednim od najvećih likova u istoriji fudbala:



What do you get when you mix letters in Paul Gascoigne's last name?

The way he spells it...

[iNCUBUs]

More of Gazza:

During his apprenticeship at Newcastle United, he was given the responsibility of cleaning Kevin Keegan's boots, keen to impress his mates, he took the boots home to show them off, but left them on the Newcastle Underground.

Paired best friend Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a girl, but it was later discovered that 'she' was a transvestite - which of course Gazza knew all along!!

When asked by a nurse what his nationality was before an operation, he replied: "Church Of England."

Gazza once paid £1000 for a robot, which he set up so it would travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza's mansion and say: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

While staying in a New Zealand hotel, he was told there was no bacon for breakfast. On hearing this he replied: "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"

Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused thousands of pounds worth of damage.

Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, Pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen and ordered lunch wearing nothing but his training socks.

One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.

On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham, Who of course, is black!!

Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his socks.

When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, he belched into a TV microphone - he was fined £9000.

Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

Has taken the mickey out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the water, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper - lesson over!!

Ever the practical joker, Gazza once replaced best pal Jimmy 'five bellies' Gardiner's hair gel with hair removing cream.

On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef!!

Pulled England teammate Paul Ince's shorts down during an open training session. Ince's backside ended up all over the papers

[iNCUBUs]

Ne mogu da izdržim, obožavam tog čoveka

izvinjavam se za eventualne duplikate u odnosu na prethodni post:

50 Great moments in the life of Paul Gascoigne

(Not Including That Free Kick Against Arsenal Or That Equally Memorable Goal Against Scotland... But Definitely Including Those False Breasts).

Gazza... Great footballer... But an even better laugh... So pull up a chair, settle down and enjoy Mr Gascoigne's 50 best tales of ordinary madness...

One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.

When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse he was Church Of England.

On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Bud Abbot!

Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-up with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'F***ing W***ker'. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament.

Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.

Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "'Yes. F**k off Norway." Then ran off laughing.

Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his socks.

When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined #9000.

Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.

After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton'.

Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver let him, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.

Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.

as taken the piss out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.

Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.

Players have also suffered Gazza's spur-of-the-moment comedy capers. He spent the whole of one game against Manchester City baiting large-lugged City midfielder Paul Lake by pulling his own ears as wide as possible at every opportunity.

As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.

As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.

When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he was play-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue lolling out.

Turned up at a modelling assignment with former Spurs team-mate Vinnie Samways and tried to take the poor lad's trousers off on the catwalk.

Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza'.

On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat shit.

Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen and ordered lunch wearing nothing but his training socks.

Paid #20 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kiddies.

Woke fellow Ranger and best mate Ally McCoist for a game of snooker in the middle of the night - because he couldn't sleep.

Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.

Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused #10,000 worth of damage.

While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping teammate Richard Gough.

Handed #1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice.

Pulled England teammate Paul Ince's shorts down during an open training session. Ince's arse ended up all over the papers.

Took the piss out of his own 'crying game' in Italia 90 by doing an ad for Walkers Crisps where he bawled after Gary Lineker stopped him nicking his crisps.

Stuck his tongue out when the TV cameras panned past him during the national anthem at Italia 90.

Prepared for games during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching noonday sun. Then was still the best player on the pitch.

Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup final.

In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for 'photo opportunities'.

While his Italia 90 teammate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barbers and demanded "a Waddle cut".

When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives."

Asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.

On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.

Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers".

Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

Taught all his Lazio teammates to swear in English - and in a Geordie accent.

Shredded England teammate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh".

While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.

While reputation preceded him to Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer'.

Conversely, rival supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta'.

Shook hands with virtually every ember of the Genoa side after being sent off while playing for Lazio.

While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"

[johnson bronson]

'... pa jeste, ja sam gadj'o Panceva tim dugim loptama u glavu, jer sam vidio da on boravi u tom kaznenom prostoru, tako da se moze reci da je to prakticki MOJ go.'
                                     Sinisa Mihajlovic iz barbika perioda


a ne zaboravimo

'halo, majka, ovde je tvoj sin dragisa binic!'