Don't fart in bed!

[eric cartman]

Don't fart in bed!





>> This is a story about a couple who had been happily

>> married for years. The
only friction in their

>> marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly

>> every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his

>> wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make

>> her gasp for air.

>> Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping

>> them off because it was making her sick. He told her !

>> he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

>> She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that

>> one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by

>> and he continued to rip them out. Then one

>> Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey

>> for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she

>> looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey

>> innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare

>> parts and a malicious
thought came to her. She took

>> the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound

>> asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she

>> pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants

>> and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

>> Some time later she heard her husband waken with his

>> usual ! trumpeting which was followed by a blood

>> curdling scr eam and the sound of frantic footsteps as

>> he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly

>> control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,

>> tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned

>> she had got him back pretty good. About twenty

>> minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his

>> bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his

>> face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was
the

>> matter. He said,

>> "Honey, you were right. All these years you have

>> warned me and I didn't

>> listen to you."

>> What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always

>> told me that one day I would end up farting my guts

>> out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace

>> of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think

>&! gt; I got most of them back in!