58 Ways to die in a Horror Movie

[SANdMAN]

Special Tips for the ladies:

1. When camping, be sure to wear your high heels.

2. Fall continuously when being pursued. If you can't fall, try running into things repeatedly.

3. Never wear a bra.

4. When your boyfriend is being slaughtered, Do absolutely nothing in his defense, scream, cry and cower in a corner and wait your turn.

5. While babysitting, Ignore the children and use this time to invite boyfriends over for sex.

Tips applying to all:

6. Sneak into closed shopping malls, abandoned houses or buildings and have a party.

7. Allow anyone with infectious diseases, oozing open wounds, bites or parasites attached to their body to enter your house.

7. when pursued, run upstairs and be sure to lock yourself in a room or closet where there is no hope for exit.

8. Swim naked in an isolated lake or pond.

9. Pick up as many hitchikers as possible.

10. Leave all doors and windows unlocked ....hell, just leave them wide open.

11. Have sex with whom ever is available at the time.

12. Stand and and talk to approching zombies.

13. If you enter a room full of dead bodies...scream, pant or make your presence known as loudly as possible.

14. Ignore the warning theme music.

15. when going on a trip that requires you to drive down isolated roads, be dure to drive a car that is known to stall.

16. If you find a book of spells, be sure to read as many incantations as possible, reading them as loud as you can.

17. Walk alone in cemeteries.

18 Get a summer job as a camp councilor.

19. Buy strange or ugly looking dolls caliming to have spirits locked inside of them.

20. Find friends with psychotic siblings, who have just recently escaped from a mental institution.

21. Stick your hand into dark, unknown crevices.

22. If you hear strange noises outside, go out to investigate...be sure to leave the door open.

23. Adopt or take in children with the numbers 666 on their heads or palms.

24. After recieving multiple death threats on the phone, continue to answer the phone when they call back.

25. Fall asleep.

26. If you get the chance to stab or kill your murderer, lean over the body and check to see if they are still alive.

27. Leave knives, drills or anything else you feel can be used as a weapon laying out, for easy access.

28. Purchase a house that has been built over an old cemetery or any place with a past of demonic or ghostly activity.

29. If you find puzzles that open a portal to hell when solved. Don't think twice..solve it and have fun.

30. relieve yourself on someone's grave.

31. Enter rooms backward.

32. Befriend adults who dress and act like toddlers.

33. Stick your head into empty elevator shafts... don't forget to look up!

34. When appliances start to run on thier own, stand and watch.

35. For you budding scientists, create genetically mutated animals or people and mistreat them.

36. Don't pay attention to which key starts your car, unlocks your door or where you left them.

37. When playing with an Ouija board ask the contacted spirit to possess you.

38. When hiding from your murderer, find a wafer thin wall with holes in it, so that they may stab you or break through it to get at you more easily.

39. If you find sealed containers with "PROPERTY of U.S. ARMY" stenciled on them, open them ...better yet bring a few friends over to join in the fun.

40. If your Rubik's cube or any other hand held puzzle begins to solve itself.. Don't run..but rather, sit and watch. ( pay no attention to that man with the pins in his head.)

41. If you are a young punk in a gang, and the person you are mugging tells you not to open boxes, trunks, or anything of that nature...ignore them ..( but we are sure that you already will, anyway)

42. If anyone by the name Captain Howdy chats with you through an Oujia board or the internet.. keep chatting with them...If on the internet.. give them your name, phone number and address.

43. When out on a safari or a jungle excursion, be sure to harass the natives as much as possible. i.e ...Shoot at them, Rape the young virgins, or burn down their houses and bring your video camera so that you actually have proof..!!

44. If being stalked always lean against a door or window.

45. With the brakes unlocked, Sit at the top of a staircase. ( If a troublesome family member is there at the time, do everything in your power to make them angry...and Wait).

46. If your clothing becomes caught on sharp objects, while being pursued, stop and try to free yourself .. ( careful, you dont want to rip that great oufit! ).

47. When in a stranger's home, eat the food that is set out for you. ..And don't feel threatened if your host doesn't eat or drink..but sits and stares hungrily at you...

48. Ignore a child's warning of monsters under the bed or in the closet.

49. Always accept rides from strangers, even when they are not going in the same direction as you.

50. Always maintain an 80's hairstyle, wear 80's clothes and ladies ..don't forget the bright blue eye shadow..!

51. when surrounded by skeletal remains, try to remove any or all jewelery or treasures.

52. If your car does not start, try banging on the steering wheel and cussing ..Continue this pattern until the killer is sitting on your windshield... ( If you feel the urge, honk the horn as well )

53. When escaped mental patients knock on your door, invite them in for tea.

54. When being pursued, lock yourself in a room, wait 2 mins and then come out to see if you are safe..( this usually works everytime )

55. Always Panic !

56. Play out in the FOG.

57. When all else fails, beg and plead with your murderer, to spare you ( or that you will give them anything..hinting to sex )

58. If you loving pet comes home snarling and/or frothing at the mouth..hug and pet them. ( bring the kids out too! )

[DUNADAN]

ovo je odlichno

pitanje je koliko bi horor bio uspeshan kad bi likovi bili lucidni

[Boban]

Ja znam da nisu svi ljudi pametni, ali kako je moguce da su horor zrtve uglavno neopevano glupe i nesnalazljive.

[DUNADAN]

nisu svi, obichno postoji i onaj jedan lik, koji svojom
inteligencijom,
snalazljivoshcu u prostoru,
odlichnim rukovanjem bilo kojom vrstom oruzja,
peticom iz rukovanja explozivima,
hakerskim sposobnostima,
odlichnim reakcijama u extremno stresnim situacijama,
promucurnoshcu,
prefriganoshcu,
itd...
prezivljava sve zamke, iako negde pred kulminaciju radnje, naivnom gledaocu se moze uchiniti kako ce i glavni lik da pogine, shto je u stvari samo petominutni obrt kako bi pobeda pravde, bozje volje itd izgledala uverljivije

bah

[SANdMAN]

ma jok dunadan, to sto je malo pametniji od budala ne cini da superherojem...


nego, jer neko razume 45? da li tu negde fali jedno 'wheelchair'?

[taurus-jor]

Rekao bih da je wheelchair. Jesi li gledao Dolores Klejborn? Uzgred, to je drama a ne horor, bez obzira sto je King to pisao.

[SANdMAN]

ima ta fora u gremlinima i u tuce drugih filmova... that's common...

[taurus-jor]

Davno sam gledao Gremline. Trebalo bi da obnovim gradivo.

[Bilja]

Jeste da kasnim dva i po meseca sa citanjem topica, ali        
Sandmane, bas si me nasmejao, ovo je genijalno!!!!

[SANdMAN]

lele, bas si ga iz prasine...  

postirao sam ovo sa nadom da ce se neko nadovezati i mimo datih 58, s novijim referencama tipa: kad te imaginarni drug pocne nagovarati plavis/palis po komsiluku, kad te unajme da gulis azbest u lokalnoj ludnici ili kad uzmes da odgledas kasetu posle cijeg gledanja svi umru kroz 7 dana

[Ghoul]

UBIJ ME NEŽNO: oružje u horor filmovima





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