The Asylum... of Cheapo Knock-Offs

[Kunac]

Ovo je da se pocepaš od smeha.... Istražujući ko stoji iza filma SNAKES on a TRAIN - koji je debitovao na DVD formatu u isto vreme kada je dugoočekivani SNAKES on a PLANE "ušao" u bioskope, nabasao sam na sajt američkog filmskog studija THE ASYLUM. (http://theasylum.cc/). Znao sam ja i ranije da je iz THE ASYLUM-a u poslednje vreme "pobeglo" nekoliko blatantnih Direct-2-DVD plagijata aktuelnih hitova, samo nisam znao da ih je ovoliko mnogo!

King of the Lost World - King Kong
Exorcism: The Possesion Of Gail Bowers - The Exorcism of Emily Rose
When a Killer Calls- When a Stranger Calls
666:The Child - The Omen
The Da Vinci Treasure - The Da Vinci Code
Pirates of Treasure Island- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Snakes on a Train - Snakes on a Plane

Svi ovi filmovi su se pojavili na DVD-ju par dana pre ili posle bioskopske premijere njihove visokobudžetne "braće".

Verovatno se ponašam infantilno, ali mene je ovo veoma zabavilo. Sigurna sam da su pomenuti filmovi očajni, ali postoji mogućnost da će biti zabavno pogledati neke od njih. Na hardu me već čeka SNAKES on a TRAIN, a odlučio sam da poskidam i par trejlera koji se mogu pronaći na oficijelnom THE ASYLUM sajtu.

Biće veselja!

[ginger toxiqo 2 gafotas]

...VESELJE U JAKO BLISKOJ BUDUCNOSTI!

...GAIL BOWERS i THE Da VINCI's TREASURE, da se posluzim terminom jedne ovde chesto prisutne mudre glave, vec obtejnovani!                    

[Kunac]

...VESELJE U JAKO BLISKOJ BUDUCNOSTI!

Briljantno, kao i uvek! U iščekivanju veselja, nešto lepo da prekrati vreme...

Merilin koja imitira Tedu Baru dok glumi Kleopatru!



Jeste rip-off, ali ODLIČAN!

[ginger toxiqo 2 gafotas]

...moglo bi se reci da je narednoj vesti ovde, barem delimichno, mesto...
...danasnje novine najavljuju da je Ljubisha Samardzic( josh jedan dragulj Nishke Banje, I have to add!) odluchio da snimi seriju od 40 epizoda( kao ex-SFRJ koprodukciju) po stripu DUBROVACHKI GUSAR...Autor narechenu seriju( od koje ce biti izmontiran i bioskopski film) najavljuje kao "Ex-YU odgovor na holivudsku konfekciju tipa "Pirati sa Kariba 1&2"...
....pa vi sad vidite!!!  

[taurus-jor]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[gargamel]

Što se tiče Dubrovačkog gusara, to su bili romani Branka Vidića aka Brandona Vida. Kod nas su objavljivani pre i posle drugog svetskog rata a strip je bio Sin dubrovackog gusara, koji je u stvari nastavak romana, naravno nakon 20-tak godina kada je mladi Niko Bartulo dovoljno odrastao da podje u potragu za svojim ocem. Ovaj strip je delimicno objavljen u strip-reviji Pingvin sredinom šezdesetih, a kompletno u tvrdo koričenom albumu Dečijih novina iz Gornjeg Milanovca krajem osamdesetih, ukupno tri epizode. Sam roman Dubrovacki gusar nema strip verziju koliko ja znam. Ako neko zna da postoji neka se slobodno javi

[Kunac]

Ah, te Zmije u vozu! Ko ih samo izmisli... BIlo kako bilo, odlučio sam da počastim populus s nekoliko reprezentativnih prizora iz ovog ostvarenja... Uživajte!


Visoka napetost!Green Slime Galore!


Efekti koji nisu baš toliko specijalni. Izvorište green slime-a otkriveno.


Efekti još uvek nisu specijalni... Verujem da je na papiru ovo izgledalo fenomenalno, ali u stvarnosti...


Bilo vam je jasno da  bez ovog nije moglo da prođe... Dramska sekvenca za nezaborav.


Iskonski strah! Na sreću, poslužavnik za borbu protiv zmijurina je pri ruci...


Gumena zmija (i to loša) "guta" curicu - ovo niste očekivali, zar ne?


CGI zmija (još uvek loša) guta vagone voza u pokretu - tek ovo niste očekivali!

[WARLOCK]

Joj obozavam green sline!  

[Kunac]

The Asylum je izbacio novi "hit" - I AM OMEGA. Mislim da nije potrebno da posebno pojašnjavam koga su ovde pokrali.   U svakom slučaju, glavnu ulogu u filmu tumači nekad pouzdani Mark Dacascos (IAL je snimio neposredno pre Srpskih ožiljaka), tako da ću film pogledati zbog njega - ali sam spreman za kataklizmu biblijskih razmera.

Evo linka za teaser trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvW9G7ex3xA

Sledeći film u produkciji The Asyluma je, verovali ili ne, AVH: ALIEN VS HUNTER, sa Williamom Kattom u glavnoj ulozi!

[Tex Murphy]

Postoji i nešto što se zove 48 Weeks Later, sa Redžijem Banisterom. Ima li to veze sa ovim Asylumom?

[Tex Murphy]

A postoji i nekakav Nightmare Hostel  

[Ghoul]

misliš da je mnogo gori od 'originalnog'?

[Tex Murphy]

Originalni film je remek-djelo, ali možda ni ovaj nije loš.

[Джон Рейнольдс]

I am Omega nije baš toooliko loš, ali su zato zombiji urnebesni! Smešnije dizajnirani zombiji ne postoje, gomila njih izgleda kao da su pre smrti (ili šta ih je već zadesilo) oboleli od ihtioze. Al' da ih Mark taba, taba ih. I trudi se da glumi.



Zombi sa leđnim perajima? Stegosaurus zombi?

[Kunac]

To su više neki mutanti, 'ajd, recimo - zombi/mutanti... Whatever! A Mark ih tamani - nije da ih ne tamani - baš kao da mu život od toga zavisi!

[Tex Murphy]

Pogledao sam I AM OMEGA (ne, nisam kriv, nije bila moja ideja da to gledamo). Pa, u odnosu na 48 Weeks Later, ovo je suvo remek-djelo. Ovde stvari počinju da se dešavaju od samog početka, nema nikakvih crnaca, Portorikanaca i inih, samo Mark, neka ženska, neka dva tipa i gomila zombija (ovo "gomila" shvatiti uslovno, pošto je zapravo većinu zombija igrao jedan te isti tip, a drugi su se pridružili samo u one dvije nešto masovnije scene).

[Tex Murphy]

Čovječe, ja sam već počeo da zaboravljam kako izgleda dobar film. Juče idem u video klub sa namjerom da uzmem nešto stvarno dobro ne bih li se oporavio od one novogodišnje kataklizme, a vratim se sa Kešbekom, Fridom i nekim filmom sa Van Damom      

[Ghoul]

dakle, zaista ne mogu da verujem da neko pored ovolikih topika na kojima se preporučuju odlični i vrlo dobri filmovi sebe konstantno osuđuje na najgnjusnije đubre!      

[Джон Рейнольдс]

Zar iko gleda Fridu a da nije primoran na to?  

[Tex Murphy]

Čuo sam da u tom filmu ima brdo golotinje, pretežno od Selme Hajek. Nijedan film ne uzimam prije rigorozne kontrole, nejmli provjeravanja koju ocjenu mu je dao MrSkin.

[Ghoul]

Zar iko gleda Fridu a da nije primoran na to?  

harv voli žene sa spojenim obrvama.
uostalom, on je izbosne, to tak normaljno.

[Usul]

Zar iko gleda Fridu a da nije primoran na to?  

harv voli žene sa spojenim obrvama.
uostalom, on je izbosne, to tak normaljno.

Zar ne beše ono da ko ima spojene obrve taj je vukodlak/vukodlačica? Hmm...

[Kunac]

TWICH: The Asylum Knocks Off CLOVERFIELD.  Here Comes MONSTER ...Love 'em or hate 'em, you've got to admire low budget LA production outfit The Asylum for their sheer tenacity and commitment to a very simple business model:  find a hotly hyped film, then rush out a straight to video knock off timed to hit shelves at the same time the big picture is hitting screens.  Thing is, some of The Asylum's films are actually pretty good, some of them - Snakes on A Train being a prime example - actually getting more love than the films they are based on.  Well, here comes another one.  The latest from The Asylum is simply titled Monster and you know the drill:  first person video diary of a giant monster attacking a big city, only in this one the people shooting the diary are women and the city in question is Tokyo.  Gotta say I love that cover shot of the very Cthulu-inspired tentacles wrapping around the Tokyo Tower and the trailer's actually a good bit of fun.

EDIT

Senzacionalni trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLv7trkylrg

[Milosh]

nema šta, brzi su; evo kompletnog filma ovde:

http://www.horrorflix.ws/readarticle.php?article_id=2953

[Death Wish]

Plot summary for
100,000,000 B.C. (2008) (V)

A scientist from the failed Philadelphia Experiment leads a team of Navy SEALs back in time to the Cretaceous Period to rescue the first team he sent back during the 1940s. Things go wildly awry though, when on his return he accidentally brings a giant, man-eating dinosaur back through the portal and into modern-day, downtown Los Angeles.

[Tex Murphy]

Pogledao sam SNAKES ON A TRAIN i mogu reći da sam prilično zadovoljan, imajući u vidu ko stoji iza filma. Dotični (film) drži pažnju i povremeno čak i zaboravite na jeftinoću izrade i činjenicu da se iz svake pore prolama straight-to-dvd vrisak. Pomirimo se sa tim da nema više one simpatične cheesy atmosfere iz cheesy filmova osamdesetih. Današnji jeftini filmovi su nekako naporniji u vizuelnom smislu. Što će reći da bi ovaj film bio mnogo bolji da je snimljen prije dvadesetak godina (vjerovatno bi zapravo bio i neka vrsta klasika).

E sad, kao što znamo, i ćorava koka ubode zrno, tako da se za promjenu desilo da momci iz Asyluma actually imaju BOLJU ideju za film od svog mainstream kaunterparta. Dok u Snakes on a Plane imamo relativno nemaštovitu priču o nekom mafijašu koji podmetne zmije da bi spriječio nekakvog tipa da svjedoči, ovde se radi o curi ukletoj moćnim zombi-vudu prokletstvom, tako da se u njoj inkubuju zmije i povremeno izlaze napolje da bi terorisale okolinu. Ta cura se sa svojim mužem, moćnim šamanom, ukrcava na voz do Losos Anđelesa, da bi otišla kod ujaka dotičnog tipa koji je takođe moćni šaman i mogao bi da je izliječi. Taj njen bradati muž je hilarious pojava. Na početku biste rekli da čoek ne može da mu da dvije nacrtane ovce da čuva, sav je nekako unezvjeren i čentuje nekakve bajalice, no međutim kad stvari priguste u njemu se budi Džeki Čen i protivnika u scenama tučnjave se rješava elegancijom jednog... Džekija Čena.

Đavo će ga znati zašto, no umjesto da zmije koje izađu iz njegove žene bjesomučno ubija na mjestu, tip ih pažljivo skuplja u teglu sa predanošću kakvog sumanutog profesora biologije. Iz nekog razloga, ženi se donekle vraća snaga kad se nekoliko zmija utrpa nazad u njena usta. Don't ask.

U svakom slučaju, scenarista filma nije dozvolio da sve ostane samo na dobroj ideji, te je supernaturalni moment filma dobro iskorišten. Dakle imamo ljigave zmijurine koje tek povremeno ujedaju ljude, češće im se ili uvlače pod kožu (bukvalno) ili ih jednostavno jedu. Look who's the top of the food chain NOW, bitch! Takođe, zmije variraju po boji i veličini, pa tako imamo i scenu sa ogromnom zmijurinom koja proždire malu djevojčicu (to sigurno niste očekivali, bar vi koji niste pažljivo čitali Kunčev post sa slikama iz filma). Iako djevojčica nije baš vrhunski glumac, njeno ponašanje u toj sceni je sasvim uvjerljivo. Dalje, pred kraj filma imamo scenu kad je Almu (curu sa zmijama) prokletstvo totalno obuzelo, pa je na putu transformacije. Koža joj je promijenjena, ima takve očnjake kakvih se ne bi postidio ni sabljozubi tigar i konzumira šaku po šaku zmijica. Bon apetit! Da i ne pričamo o tome da se ista cura koju sekundu kasnije transformiše u najogromniju zmiju koju ste ikad vidjeli i iz čista mira krene da ždere voz. Valjda je voz u brzini podsjeća na zmiju, šta li. To vam je zmijski kanibalizam neke vrste.

Also, lijepo je što imamo i potpuno besplatnu golotinju. Doduše, od dvije drugarice u toj besplatnoj sceni skida se ona manje lijepa, no njen par grudi sve apsolutno opravdava. Interesantan fakat je da tip koji nju primorava da skine košulju frapantno liči na Breda Pita (in reality, u pitanju je asistent režisera ovog filma).

Iz gore navedenog jasno je da bi Snakes on a Train bio cheesy masterpiss da su produkcione vrijednosti bile malo veće. Ovako... imamo npr. scenu kad tip mlati ogromnu zmiju tanjirom. Naravno, od zmije mi ne vidimo ni Z, samo tipa kako bjesomučno vitla okolo spravom (ovo podsjeća na Filipa Moru i njegova dva filma iz serijala Urlikanje). Dalje imamo već pomenutog muža zombi cure koji konstantno deklamuje neke bajalice i toliko je dosadan sa tim da je to strašno. Dalje, na kutiji DVD-a piše "100 trapped passengers (u filmu ih vidimo sve skupa petnaestak), 3000 venomous snakes (njih možda ima čak i dvadeset)".

Lijepo je što momci iz Asyluma ipak ne shvataju sami sebe preozbiljno te ako odgledate ona slova na kraju filma do kraja, možete da vidite natpis "No snakes were harmed in the making of this movie. A small child was, but that's cool." i "Why are you still reading this? Go to the store and rent another Asylum movie!"

Suma sumarum, ako volite dobar horor film, bježite što dalje od Zmija u vozu, ali vjerujem da na ovom forumu ima ljudi koji će sa "uživanjem" da pogledaju ovo čudo. Kad porastem, želim da budem glumac u nekom Asylum filmu!!!

[Tex Murphy]

A evo i interesantnog i duhovitog revijeva filma  

http://www.surfindead.com/snakes.html

[Ghoul]

dođavola, ovaj plot zvuči skoro genijalno!
rado bih gledao film o zmijama koje se kote u nečijem telu – pod uslovom da postoji adekvatan budget za efekte i dovoljna doza vizuelne kulture da se to otelotvori kako valja.
do tada – odo da repriziram džil šoelen meets screaming mad george u THE BITE!

(reci, harv, jesu li čemu make up efx u ovoj bedastoći?)

[Tex Murphy]

pod uslovom da postoji adekvatan budget za efekte i dovoljna doza vizuelne kulture da se to otelotvori kako valja.

Which there isn't  
Bojim se da taj segment filma nisam dovoljno elaborirao u svom revijevu, ali Kunac je to lijepo ilustrovao u svom prijašnjem postu, sa sve slikama.

[Kunac]

Kunac je to lijepo ilustrovao u svom prijašnjem postu, sa sve slikama.

Da, poodavno sam to uradio. Zapravo, SoaT su glavni razlog zbog koga sam i pokrenuo ovaj topik.

[Tex Murphy]

Pogledao sam TRANSMORPHERS  

Ovo je toliko loš film da sam već skoro sve zaboravio (a ima tek dva sata kako sam ga pogledao). Znam da se neke opasne vojničke face bore protiv nekakvih robota i da Kapetan Pauer koji je snimljen prije 20 godina ima bolje specijalne efekte. Highlight su suludo debilni dijalozi, preuzeti iz najbombastičnijih govora iz najpatetičnijih ratnih filmova, sve to sa zabrinjavajućom ozbiljnošću zabrinjavajuće loših glumaca (a kad još glavni heroj krene da baljezga sa svojim tvrdim akcentom, veselju nikad kraja), kao i najgore scene tučnjave ikad snimljene.

[Kunac]

KONAČNO::: DOLIJALI!

Prvo onaj klinac zbog Turneje a sada i ovo! Gde to ide ovaj svet?

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news last night that 20th Century Fox has taken "legal action against the Asylum, firing off a cease-and-desist letter and hiring litigation lawyers to go after the prolific purveyor of high-end, low-budget knockoffs of Hollywood blockbusters." Horror fans have known about The Asylum for years, as the one-stop shop for familar-sounding fare like SNAKES ON A TRAIN, WHEN A KILLER CALLS, AVH: ALIEN VS. HUNTER, and HALLOWEEN NIGHT. A quick glance at an IMDB talkback for any of their titles reveals many viewers asking "how can they do that?", and obviously FOX doesn't think they can.

With the upcoming release of FOX' THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL starring Keanu Reeves, The Asylum brings you THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED, starring C. Thomas Howell. Or maybe they won't.

[Tex Murphy]

Interesantno, sve to u zemlji koja se busa u prsa svojom demokratijom. Naravno, svaki Asylumov film je najgori film na svijetu, ali ovo je naprosto smiješno.

[Kunac]

Day the Earth Stopped, The (2008)

   * C. Thomas Howell
   * Judd Nelson
   * The Asylum
   * The Day the Earth Stopped

The Day the Earth Stopped review!Reviewed by The Foywonder

Starring C. Thomas Howell, Sinead McCafferty, Bug Hall, Jeff Ellefson, Judd Nelson

Directed by C. Thomas Howell

The Day the Earth Stopped is the mockbuster that prompted Fox to send their lawyers after The Asylum. Nothing came of it though. In retrospect, The Asylum probably should have sued Fox instead for putting out a film so bad it could potentially hurt interest in their mockbuster. After sitting through the anger-inducing affront to human intelligence that was the remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still (review) this past weekend, I found myself thinking that this might be one of the rare instances where an Asylum mockbuster proves to be truly superior to its big screen counterpart. After watching Stopped>, well, let's just call it a tie.

666 colossal robots from outer space have begun landing all over the Earth. 666 is a good round number, no? Government authorities refer to them as "megaliths", a word typically used to describe gigantic stone monuments of prehistoric times. This led me to suspect that the original script idea was not to make these megaliths look like Robotjox but since the movie its mockbustering boasts a giant robot... Why do I suspect this? Leave it to The Asylum to make a movie featuring gargantuan robots that just stand there and do nothing. If attacked they'll fire laser beams at their attackers, but other than that .... nada. Might as well just been giant stone monoliths instead.

The impoverished nature of the budget shows quite often though the special effects work on the megaliths is fairly decent. Again, that's probably because they just stand there almost completely motionless the entire film. Even when they fly off into space all we see are static shots of the robots lifting straight up without any kind of rocketry or visual trickery. Ever see the "Poochie" episode of "The Simpsons" when they animators killed Poochie by just having a single animation cell rise up out of the frame? Practically the same effect here.

At the same time, in some woods on the outskirts of Los Angeles, a naked alien woman struts about looking more like she just stepped out of the pages of Penthouse, not a spaceship. Now in this aspect I have to give the film credit for being vastly superior to the film it's ripping off - both versions. Michael Rennie and Keanu Reeves vs. a perfectly sculptured naked redhead; guess which wins in my book?

Army guy C. Thomas Howell (who also directed, badly) brings her to a nearby army base where they put clothes on her but make sure she's still wearing a very tight white top. She informs him the human race is to be wiped out because of our destructive ways. The megaliths are emitting a sonic wave that will cause the earth's core to stop spinning; hence the movie's title.

If you're wondering how stopping the earth's core from spinning could kill us, might I advise you go add The Core to your Netflix queue. Better yet, don't. No need to add this one, either.

We are to be exterminated by the end of the day unless we, and by we I mean C. Thomas Howell (the fate of the world resting in the hands of Soul Man does not comfort me), can convince her of humanity's humanity. Enter United States government agents looking to torture and interrogate her, scoffing mightily at the very notion of proving humanity's essential goodness. What? No mustaches to twirl?

There's also a second alien, a male, who upon getting captured sits in his jail cell explaining to other government scientists what's going on and why for the rest of the movie. Pointless.

Howell's fellow "Brat Pack" friend Judd Nelson also appears ever so briefly in a role so insignificant that it wouldn't even be appropriate to call it a cameo. More like a favor.

Howell springs the stacked alien babe and the two roam around the almost completely evacuated city playing gender reversal Starman while being hunted by the authorities. He'll first try to prove our worth by taking her to church and introducing her to the saving grace of Jesus Christ. This does not convince her. Pat Robertson will be most displeased when he hears about this film.

What does eventually convince her of our humanity is something so mundane it makes what convinces Keanu to save us in the remake seem truly profound. I won't spoil it but here's a hint: what woman can resist a baby.

But you, you can resist this latest Asylum snoozefest. The Day the Earth Stopped never even gets started. The only thing that stopped was the pacing. Any attempt at thoughtful science fiction is undermined by the simpleminded mimicry of the script. Any attempt at being exciting is undermined by the almost complete lack of action. Any attempt at being a thriller is undermined by the overall tedium of the events. I can already hear most viewers of the film long before the elongated closing credits roll saying to themselves, "Stop the world, I want to get off."

1 1/2 out of 5

[Tex Murphy]

Hehe... Dakle eto i trilinga C. Thomasa Howella (glumio je i u War of the Worlds 1 i 2, s tim da je potonji čak i režirao)  

Kad smo već kod Asyluma, još uvijek razmišljam da li da se podvrgnem torturi gledanja Pirates of Treasure Island (s Lensom Henriksenom!), koji je nedavno stigao u lokalni DVD klub...

[Milosh]

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) je prilično loš (mislim, Kijanu Rivs je jedna od svetlih tačaka filma, pa vi vidite), sad ću možda čak da pogledam i Asylum verziju, ne znam. Inače, ne pamtim kad je Fox imao ovako lošu godinu, sve sami krševi od filmova...

[Kunac]

Ovo je aspolutno ludilo, vest koja mi je ulepšala dan posle stresne projekcije Sumraka u TUCKU....


Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus vs. Lorenzo Lamas vs. Debbie Gibson in 3D

With 3D being the latest cinematic craze it only figures The Asylum would get in on the act and, let's face it, we all knew sooner of later we'd have to deal with the possibility of Lorenzo Lamas projecting himself out of our television sets right into our living room. We'll get both and a former 80's teen pop sensation too in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. May God have mercy on our souls.

Filming has just begun on Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, a non-mockbuster blockbuster from our friends at The Asylum that's being shot in 3-D. The writer-director of this epic 3-D smackdown between macro-sized undersea predators is Ace Hannah AKA Jack Perez, the maker of MTV's Monster Island and The Asylum's 666: The Child. Not sure why he's using the "Ace Hannah" moniker but I am sure "Ace Hannah" sounds like it should be the name of Lorenzo Lamas' character.

Yep! This epic battle between colossal carcharodon and super-sized cephalopod off the coast of California will star none other than the man, the myth, the legend - Lorenzo Lamas. He's no novice when it comes to killer sharks having starred in the Sci-Fi Channel's Dark Waters. He's a sophomore when it comes to starring in Asylum productions; you may or may not remember him as the star of their 30,000 Leagues Under The Sea. This film should mark the first time in ages Lorenzo Lamas has given a fully three-dimensional acting performance. ZING~!

Joining in the ominous oceanic action will be one Deborah Gibson. You remember Debbie Gibson, the late Eighties teen pop tart who sang such timeless hits as "Electric Youth", "Only in My Dreams", and "Shake Your Love"? In recent years she started calling herself 'Deborah', posed in Playboy, starred on Broadway, and now finds herself alongside Lorenzo Lamas in a 3D Asylum production about a really big shark battling an equally big octopus. That is the American dream personified right there; is it not?

You too will get a chance to live the American dream when you bare witness to the monumental 3-D tooth vs. tentacle naval warfare that will be Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus when it washes ashore to DVD shelves on May 19th. Mark you calendars. NOW!

I've been writing about The Asylum for years and most of it hasn't been pretty. This time ... This time I'm not going to get negative (at least not until I've seen it for myself and get my heart broken). I want to see Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I want Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus to be fun, not another stinker like Supercroc or Alien vs. Hunter or a nothing-happening crapfest like Monster. I want to be entertained. I honestly, truly, genuinely want to see The Asylum succeed with this one. And I think they can do it too if they put some effort into it.

Know what else I want? I want a screener copy. How much money out of my own pocket have I spent renting Asylum films? How much time out of my own life have I spent watching and writing about Asylum movies? I want an advance screener of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus in 3-D when it becomes available. I know somebody at The Asylum is reading this. I want to be sent a preview copy of this one. I don't think that's asking too much. And not like the last time you guys sent me a screener and it arrived in my mailbox three days after the DVD was already on the shelves at Blockbuster. Don't make me put you on notice!

[Milosh]

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus vs. Lorenzo Lamas vs. Debbie Gibson in 3D

   

Ah, još kad bi se neko usudio da oživi zamisao o snimanju predivno sumanutog filma pod nazivom Dracula vs. Hitler...

[Kunac]

http://joblo.com/arrow/index.php?id=15630

The Asylum is by far the most shameless of movie studios. Their business thrives on riding on the pigtails of big Hollywood blockbusters by producing, what they loving call, Mockbusters. I started taking note of these f*cks when their SNAKES ON A TRAIN hit DVD around the same time SNAKES ON A PLANE hit theaters, and ever since... they've been cashing in on bigger productions, and have yet to be sued or shut down for out-right plagiarism.

The latest mockbuster to really chap my hide? THE TERMINATORS, which is scheduled to hit DVD April 28th... right before a little movie called TERMINATOR: SALVATION is scheduled to hit the big screen. Well, the similarities have to stop with the name, right? Wrong.

[THE TERMINATORS] is about small band of resistance fighters who battle the cyborgs that have taken control of the planet.

For the love of god, are they serious? And the bigger question, who the hell is renting / buying this crap? Are there people out there really that stupid to think the two films are related? Or worse--that they're the exact same thing? Utterly ridiculous...

What's crazier is that THE TERMINATORS stars Jeremy London, who was aiming to take over the movie world when DAZED AND CONFUSED came out... but instead did THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (one of my all-time favs) and the rest is history.

Have fun with the new poster, and if you want even more fun, check out The Asylum's OFFICIAL SITE for some stills from the film, and browse through their film catalog... just about every movie that's ever been popular is in there, with a crappy STD twist.

Thanks to Avery for the heads up!

Spilled Blood: Other films in The Asylum library include UNIVERSAL SOLDIERS, AVH: ALIEN VS HUNTER, TRANSMORPHERS, and THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED.

[ginger toxiqo 2 gafotas]

...zanimljiv je i ovaj twist u samoj vesti u kojoj autor pomeša Jeremyja Londona sa ipak uspešnijim mu bratom blizancem Jasonom Londonom (koji jeste glumio u DAZED AND CONFUSED i CARRIE: THE RAGE)...

...dešava se i najboljima među nama, though

[Milosh]

Asylum Strikes Again!!

THE TERMINATORS



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1350512/  (trenutna ocena: 1.9)

Upravo se pojavio na netu...

[Ghoul]

a to li je njihov produkt?

pazi kad me toliko zabgole za tu franšizu da danas samo otvorih to, videh poster, pomislih da je neki legitimni spin-off tv-serije ili cheapo-priprema za predstojeći film - i odjebah ga.

mislim da se taj treš pravi isključivo za harvestere ovoga sveta.

[Milosh]

Ja sam do sada pogledao isključivo Snakes on a Train i to je bilo umereno zabavno; a skinuo sam ih još nekoliko i samo prelistao... Ja se držim Nu Image produkcije, rekao bih da su oni ipak za klasu bolji i od Asyluma i od Sci-Fi kanala kad su u pitanju SF-horor treševi...

[Milosh]

Evo i trejlera za Terminatore odbegle iz azila: http://www.azmovies.net/the-terminators.html

[Kunac]

DREAD CENTRAL umereno pohvaljuje Terminatore (?). Fras se širi.

Terminators, The (2009), reviewed by The Foywonder

Starring: A Martinez, Jeremy London, Paul Logan, Lauren Walsh, Stephen Blackehart

Directed by Xavier S. Puslowski

The Terminators is like a Frankenstein mockbuster that's been assembled from concepts, plot points, dialogue, visuals, and designs blatantly stolen from a variety of movies and television shows most egregiously and obviously the Terminator movies, so much so it's amazing to think they actually managed to get this film out on the market without being slapped with a massive lawsuit. A computerized military defense system meant to protect us instead turns on us, nukes several major cities, sends human-looking cyborgs to exterminate the rest of us, and the movie is called The Terminators? How did The Asylum not get sued into oblivion for this?

But the "sampling" - as they call it in the music industry - only begins with Terminator. Aliens, "Battlestar Galactica", Star Wars, Blade Runner, and "V" are all invoked in some way or another. A circular space station straight out of 2001 with a tractor beam that can suck vessels into its docking bay a la Star Wars; an outer space dogfight that also evokes memories the original Star Wars. Those space transport shuttles bear more than a passing resemblance to the spaceships from "Space: 1999". A member of a team of space mercenaries is named "Hicks". When in doubt, open the bay doors and suck the thing trying to kill you out in the vastness of space. And this is only the stuff I personally recognized. The shameless highway robbery of various film and TV properties ranges from jaw-dropping to damn near inspiring.

Even video games get a nod. The cyborgs make pinball machine noises when bullets hit their metal exoskeleton. The laser fire and sound effects during that space dogfight are exactly like that of an early Eighties arcade game right down to laser cannon fire in the form of little triangles zooming across the screen.

Most amazing is that despite all of the blatant thievery and the absolute mess that is the barely lucid storyline, on its own terms, The Terminators actually works. More entertaining than it has any right to be; not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, but certainly livelier than quite a few other Terminator copycats that have come along. If nothing else, it isn't a total borefest. Given Asylum standards, that alone puts it in the win column.

Confusion from the get-go; is it set in the near future or an alternate universe with giant space stations, a military that has been replaced with an army of flesh-covered cyborgs referred to as TR (An abbreviation for "Terminator", a word never uttered for obvious legal reasons? Or TR could be short for "Total Rip-off"), and high tech corporations that have virtual rooms with holographic view screens and private space mercenary security forces orbiting the planet. After the opening ten minutes that just plops us down into this confusing world, the story moves to a small town on the outskirts of Los Angeles that isn't anywhere near as space age as everything we've just seen but when these average citizens talk they've clearly heard of these TRs and casually speak of cyborgs as everyday appliances.

The TRs declare war on the human race for reasons that really never matter much. They did it in The Terminator; that's all that matters.

The TRs' questionable attack plan is to prowl the streets shooting random citizens with their handguns or manually mauling them to death with their bare hands - the funniest scene of the film has a TR in the background continuously punching a guy non-stop in the face long past the point of having killed this man as a second TR casually walks past. Given the rate at which they were eliminating people, I'd reckon the TRs wouldn't successfully wipeout the human race for 3-5 years.

Ah, but the TRs have also taken to nuking major cities. We know this because the radio tells us so. There is a lone scene where citizens in that small countryside community witness L.A. getting nuked. Only problem is the f/x guys opted for a tiny explosion that from a distance looked more like a missile struck a random building rather than a full blown mushroom cloud city nuking. The planes hitting the Towers on 9/11 generated more smoke than the supposed nuclear annihilation of Los Angeles here.

The TRs appear in the form of muscular actor Paul Logan and his black tank from hell; surprisingly inventive camerawork and visual effects allow multiple versions of Logan to be shown attacking on the screen at the same time. If the Schwarzenegger School of Muscled-Up Soulless Automaton Assassin Acting Techniques existed Mr. Logan would have graduated valedictorian of his class. He has that cyborg killing machine swagger down to a t(r) and is a major reason the film succeeds in spite of itself.

On the other hand, when the best character and performance in a movies comes from the guy playing the non-speaking, blank-faced save for the occasional angry scowl, emotionless, mechanical manslayer...

Soap opera star A Martinez is the small town sheriff leading a small band of fellow citizens trying to survive the TRs rampage. Their evacuation will soon lead them to cross paths with "Party of 5"'s Jeremy London and his EMP gun, the only weapon capable of disabling a TR.

Given the cryptic statements London repeatedly makes I was absolutely positive it was going to be revealed that his character was from the future sent back in time to help stop the TR uprising. To the credit of writer and Asylum executive producer David Latt he chose not to further purloin Terminator in this instance. Though I suspect he only did so because if he'd lifted yet another pertinent plot point from The Terminator movies with that character it would have made it much harder to work in an opportunity to pilfer "Battlestar Galactica". The difficult creative choices Mr. Latt must have had to make when cobbling this screenplay together.

The finale has the remaining survivors rocketing up to the TR space station in hopes of saving the human race from robotic extermination by flipping the off-switch and I am not kidding you when I tell you there is an actual on/off switch labeled "TR on/off" to be flipped.

The unsung hero of The Terminators is without a doubt director Xavier S. Puslowski and his ability to keep this mindless hodgepodge moving along at a brisk pace. When the events of an Asylum film reach the woods, that's when I usually start reaching for my remote; because if there's one thing I've learned from my years watching Asylum mockbusters, when you start seeing trees in an Asylum production you know the movie is about to get very bad and very dull. But this time, even as the momentary detour into the timber slogs a bit, Puslowski gets us through it rather quickly and relatively painlessly. For that alone the man deserves an Oscar.

Interesting footnote: If you take a look at The Asylum's website currently you won't find a single mention of The Terminators on it. No artwork, no trailer, no listings, even the film's webpage has gone suspiciously missing. One of my Asylum insiders has told me that they did indeed get hit with a cease & desist, removed all info in relation to the film from their website to make it look like they were complying, and then went ahead releasing the film into the marketplace anyway. Never ever let it be said that The Asylum isn't run by people with elephant-sized cajones.

3 out of 5

[Aleksandar Žiljak]

Gle, ja do sada odgledao Transmorferse i Zmaj. Transmorfers je krađa svega što se dalo pokrasti, a Zmaj je, očito, fantasy, ali više u stilu Dungeons and Dragons filmova, od kojih je prvi tek marginalno bolji od ovoga (drugi, Bijes boga zmaja je OK). Dečki znaju što hoće i to rade za minimalni budžet. Gluma slaba, režija još gora, efekti tihi očaj. Ali, ima neki vrag u njihovim scenarijima, odnosima među likovima, etc., koji očajno fale u tzv. visokobudžetnoj produkciji.

Da, stoji primjedba da kad Asylum ode u šumu, film počne biti dosadan. Zmaj se događa u šumi i vuuučeee seee... S druge strane, ni jedan zmaj nije povređen prilikom snimanja tog filma.

[Milosh]

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS TRAILER! YES!! 

http://www.worstpreviews.com/headline.php?id=13408&count=0

[Milosh]

POJAVIO SE!!

Mega.Shark.VS.Giant.Octopus.2009.DVDRip.XViD-TFE

       

[ginger toxiqo 2 gafotas]

Sledi ti muštuluk za ovu dojavu!

[Kunac]

Imam predosecaj da ce film biti mega...