ZNAK SAGITE — više od fantastike — edicija, časopis, knjižara...

Quote from: "otaku"U SAD-u postoje igrice sa hriscanskom tematikom:
 
Eternal Wars: Shadows of Light
ZADATAK: Proniknuti u samoubilacki um Dzona Koronada i odagnati aveti zla i samounistenja koji su mu zatrovali dusu.
ORUZJE: Mac bozanskog gneva koji siri smrtonosne talase
ZABLUDE GRESNIKA: Dzon, gresnik koji je izgubio veru u Boga, zelju za zivotom i podlegao porocima narkomanije, pornografije i samosakacenja.

Ominous Horizons: a Paladin's Calling
ZADATAK: Sile zla su unistile stamparsku presu Johanesa Gutemberga i ukrale mu Bibliju. Na vama je da je vratite i obezbedite dalje sirenje hriscanske vere.
ORUZJE: Pastirska palica kojom je Mojsije razdvojio Crveno more.
ZABLUDE GRESNIKA: Veliki druid.Pagani iskusavaju hriscane.

Saints of virtue
ZADATAK: Upoznaj samog sebe. Putovanje kroz sopstvenu dusu kako biste se oslobodili tastine, gordosti i straha.
ORUZJE: Citati iz Sv. pisma.
ZABLUDE GRESNIKA: Zlatousti guru, lazni prorok koji pokusava da vas zavede obecanjima laznih uzitaka.

inace, iz Zabavnika, ima i super slika (Isus drzi dzojstik, sa sve trnovim vencem na glavi)

Voleo bih da znam kakvi sve debili sede u Zabavniku i lupetaju najgore gluposti i gadosti i uopšte ih nije sramota. Pazi, molim te, neki debili našli da se iščudjavaju što neko pravi "igrice" (UAAAAARRGGHHH!
  ) o religiji petine čovečanstva!

Šta sad? Smešno je što neko za umetnost koristi svakodnevnicu i mitologiju. 'Ajde da su bar nabrojali igre čiji su koncepti igranja suprotni samom hrišćanstvu, tipa Archangel i Messiah, ali ne! debilima je smešno što postoji "igrica" o hrišćanstvu    i za to uzimaju primere najgore od najgoreg.

Naslov ovog zlodela TGS-a podseća, medjutim, na Of light and Darkness, avanture u kojoj vodite duhove raznih zlikovaca (medju kojima i Ivana Groznog, Marije Antonaete, Džona Vejna Gejsija (da, da) itd.) ka iksupljenju, izbavljenju i spasenju. 'Ajde da vidim nekoga bez IQ-a 180 i opšteg obrazovanja da prodje ovo hermetično remek-delo. A baš bi me zanimalo da li bi neki genije iz zabavnika shvatio šta se dešava da ga posadite pred igru.

Quote from: "ghoul"HOLLAND, Mich. - Some parents will name their son after
the father, tacking a Jr. or II onto the end of his name.
This tradition was apparently too common for one engineering
techie who decided to add 2.0 to his newborn son's name. Jon
Blake Cusack persuaded his wife, Jamie, into naming their
child Jon Blake Cusack 2.0. Version 2.0 was born at Holland
Community Hospital last Tuesday, and he was taken home Friday.

Malog ce u skoli tako da bug-uju da ce mu totalno sjebati driver za zivot i ima tako da kreshuje da ce godinama morati kod psihijatra na reinstalaciju.

Quote from: "Monsinjor Lurdusami"


Voleo bih da znam kakvi sve debili sede u Zabavniku i lupetaju najgore gluposti i gadosti i uopšte ih nije sramota. Pazi, molim te, neki debili našli da se iščudjavaju što neko pravi "igrice" (UAAAAARRGGHHH!
  ) o religiji petine čovečanstva!

Pazi ti, dete, sta pricas i kako se izrazavas, nisu se LJUDI IZ ZABAVNIKA, iscudjavali, clanak je iz te novine, a JA sam ga stavila na ovaj topik, kao strange but... Dakle ne diraj ZABAVNIK inace ces imati posla sa MOJIM PSIMA

Ja sam se iščudjavao debilima, a ti si napisala da je iz Zabavnika. Tvoji psi? Smejem se tvojim psima - mhuahahahaha!

SOFIA, Bulgaria - One very lucky drunken man is still alive
after entering the compound of a Himalayan bear at the Sofia
zoo and refusing to leave. The man leaped over the fence
surrounding the outside part of the bear's compound. He
plopped down on a piece of lumber, taunting zoo officials
and police who had hurried to the scene. "He was drinking
from a bottle of liquor and shouting to the police: 'Hey
come on, have you got the guts to come over here?'"   zoo
director Ivan Ivanov said. The door to the cage that held
the 330-pound female bear, Mila, was stuck, so she had to
watch the scene from behind the bars of her cage. "She is
not very friendly," Ivanov said. "She eats no meat, but she
could have mauled and even killed him; the guy was lucky the
cage door lock had got stuck." Zoo officials went into the
compound and locked the cage gate so that police could
capture the intruder.

NICE, France - A Frenchwoman became both bride and widow
during a wedding ceremony in which she married her dead boy-
friend. Dressed in a black suit, Christelle Demichel tied
the knot with the deceased groom, a former policeman identi-
fied as Eric, who was killed by a drunk driver in September
2002. Demichel told LCI television she understood "it could
seem shocking to marry someone who is dead," but her feel-
ings for him had not diminished. His body was not present for
the ceremony. A marriage like this is legal if the living
spouse can prove the couple had planned to marry before the
other died. The exchange of vows received authorization from
President Jacques Chirac. The ceremony was performed Tuesday
at Nice City Hall on the French Riviera.

sledeca vest je vec bila postovana na komsijskom [i domacinskom] skriming plenet- sajtu, ali za one koji tamo ne zalaze [sarma ih bilo!], evo:

CANBERRA, Australia - A snorkeler who was swimming on a reef
near Australia's east coast was attacked by a shark who just
refused to budge. Luke Tresoglavic swam to shore with the
predator still gripping his leg and then drove to a life-
savers' club to have it removed.  "The shark just wouldn't
budge so he held onto it as it was thrashing around and
swam to shore," Tresoglavic's mother, Caroline, told Reuters
Wednesday. "It still wouldn't let got so he got into his car
and drove up to the lifesavers' clubhouse nearby for help.
Luckily he didn't panic or he could have ended up in trouble
in the water." Lifesavers hosed the wobbegong shark with
fresh water to remove it from Tresoglavic's leg, but it left
behind about 70 puncture marks on his limb. The Tresoglavics
buried the dead shark in their garden.

Ovo je za topik Fila Devila o ugrozavanju prava zivotinja.

Quote from: "svemirko"Ovo je za topik Fila Devila o ugrozavanju prava zivotinja.

ko zna dal je taj preziveo [bez]Obraznu gay zurku!?

+------------------- Bizarre Festivals --------------------+

Gotmaar Festival (India, September) - On the day after the
September full moon, the 45,000 residents of Pandhura divide
themselves into two groups and hurl rocks at each other
until sunset when the fighting ends.

Moose-Dropping Festival (Alaska, July) - The town of Tal-
keetna is host to an annual celebration of moose-droppings.
Stalls sell jewelry and assorted knick-knacks made from
moose-droppings. The highlight of the celebration is the
moose-dropping-throwing competition, where competitors
throw gold-painted moose-droppings into a target area.

Cheese-Rolling (U.K., May) - At 6 p.m. on Spring Bank Holi-
day Monday, local youths line up at the top of the hill
alongside a 7 pound circular Double Gloucester cheese. When
the cheese is released, the competitors hurtle down the hill
in an attempt to catch it before it reaches the bottom.

Grandmother's Festival (Norway, July) - First held at Bodo
in 1992, the festival sees grannies riding motorbikes, race-
horses, skydiving and scuba-diving. The star of the inaug-
ural event was 79-year-old Elida Anderson who became the
world's oldest bungee jumper.

La Tomatina (Spain) - This festival dates back to 1944 when
the fair at Bunol was ruined by hooligans hurling tomatoes
at the procession. Now each year the town stages a 90-minute
mass fight with 190,000 pounds of ripe tomatoes.

Running of the Sheep (U.S., September) - Reedpoint, Montana,
stages a gentle alternative to Spain's famous Running of the
Bulls. Each September hundreds of sheep charge down Main
Street for six blocks. Contests are held for the ugliest
sheep and prettiest ewe while shepherds assemble to recite
poetry.

SAMO ZA KRIPLA:

NEW YORK - Gail "Gee" Powell was tired of the same old thing
for birthdays and other special occasions, so she started
Rap-A-Gram, a unique New York message service. For $129.99,
the romantically inclined can choose from the romantic
Krush-on-U-Gram, Luva-Gram and Erotica-Gram, the Washington
Post reports. Those leaning toward the hip-hop can send the
Pimp-A-Gram, the Thug-A-Gram (for women who crave thug love)
and the Dis-A-Gram (for "those who's been hated on,
disrespected, cheated on, lied to or just can't stand some-
one"). For the poetically inclined, there is the Spokenword-
Gram option. Powell, 26, came up with the idea less than a
year ago, when her boyfriend celebrated a birthday. She
founded Rap-A-Gram with three partners. They have a Web site,
rapagram.com, but no real office space. Powell says they don't
need any: "I've got a cell phone and the Web."

-------------- Tunes to Help Toddlers Tinkle ---------------

LOS ANGELES - To help motivate toddlers to use the toilet,
Chicago mom Vicki Esralew has created a new DVD of music
videos entitled "I Gotta GO!" The DVD contains songs that
are supposed to encourage toddlers to discard the diapers
and go "potty" by themselves. One of the tracks is a reggae-
style tune called "Pull Down, Pull On" and has lyrics like
"Bye bye diapers/ Hello fun/ I can potty by myself/ No help
from no one." Another song, "I Have the Power," motivates
with verses like "I didn't know if I'd ever be ready/ Then
one day I said 'you know it's time to change my ways'/ The
time seemed right/ I'd seen the light/ Now I'm ready for
drier days." The DVD/CD package arrives in U.S. stores this
week.

'OCE LI NEKO DA MU NARUCIM OVO?

Cannibal horror

A CANNIBAL has been caught by cops as he cooked his victim's brain in a pan on the hob.

Horrified officers found the dismembered body of the dead man after they were called to a flat in East London.

Blood was splattered on the walls and floor — and the maniac was frying the brain in the kitchen.

The sickening discovery came after neighbours made frantic 999 calls about a "terrible attack".

The body, believed to be that of the 45-year-old bachelor tenant of the flat, had suffered multiple injuries including dismemberment.

One police officer leaving the scene on Tuesday evening was reported to have told a neighbour: "It's horrible. It's terrible in there."

A man was arrested at the flat in Walthamstow, East London.

Two women — aged 29 and 19 — were held in nearby Chingford but were both later freed.

Last night it was revealed that the murder suspect had been released hours earlier from a mental home. The victim, named by neighbours as Brian Cherry, is also believed to have received psychiatric treatment.

One neighbour said: "His mother died a few weeks ago. Brian didn't work. He lived on his own."

A number of weapons, believed to include knives, were seized at the scene and sent to forensic labs for examination.

A senior police source said: "One real possibility is that the body was being cut up and prepared for a meal.

"The brain was being fried in a pan on the hob when officers raided the flat. There are aspects of the Mental Health Act which are being addressed. Cannibalism is a motive that cannot be overlooked at this time."

BERLIN - A German bondage fetishist was practicing at home
when he got so chained up that he had to call police to come
release him. Police arrived at the home and received no
answer until the man came to the window and threw out the
house keys with his teeth. The officers were greeted by the
sight of a heavily-chained man waddling towards them on his
knees with his head down, wearing only shiny black leather
and white socks. "To visualise the appearance of the
afflicted party, one would have to imagine a penguin of
waist-height waddling with slightly protruding wings,"
Aachen police said in a statement. Police were able to
release the man using their own handcuff keys. "We suggested
in the future that he go to places where that sort of thing
might cost a bit more, but would definitely be safer for
him," the spokesman said.

--------------- Dinner Started With a Bang -----------------

HOWARD, Wis. - A man and his wife had to duck behind their
refrigerator when bullets began exploding in their oven.
According to Captain Craig Kohlbeck of the Brown County
Sheriff's Department, the husband had placed the ammunition
and three handguns in the oven before they went on vacation.
He explained to the officers that he thought the items would
be safer there if somebody broke into their home while they
were away. When they returned from their trip on Tuesday,
the wife turned on the oven to make dinner and the bullets
ignited, causing the couple to take shelter behind the
fridge. Luckily, nobody was injured.

EVO ZASTO SAM JA PROTIV DEMOKRATIJE:

NEWMARKET, England - British magistrates have convicted a
Newmarket woman of giving false information by registering
her cows to vote. The East Cambridgeshire District Council
said it was the second year running that Brenda Gould had
listed animals on her registration form, the BBC reported
Thursday. Gould, who last year registered cows Henry and
Sophie Bull and her dog, Jake Woofles, was fined $190 and
ordered to pay $208 costs. Gould said she and her husband
became irritated when the council sent a voter registration
form to the occupants of their barn. "We have this barn
where we keep two cows and we had a letter addressed to the
occupants of the barn," she said. "We ignored it and then
someone came around to ask why we hadn't filled it in. We
just thought they were being stupid. "We didn't tell any
lies. We just put down the names of the animals." The Goulds
said they wouldn't be repeating the prank.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

 Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"   -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey

 

dodaj i preostalih 8 bisera

..ma to su vec opsta mesta= jedno vreme sam ih dobijao svakih 10-ak dana od ponekog prijatelja...

Quote from: "ghoul"..ma to su vec opsta mesta= jedno vreme sam ih dobijao svakih 10-ak dana od ponekog prijatelja...

Let's see...what can I do to this guy next?  

To mi je hvala sto jedina posecujem tvoj topik.

Well he can't outsmart me, 'cause I'm a moron  

Quote from: "otaku"Let's see...what can I do to this guy next?  
=HMMM, I'M GETTING SOME IDEAS...

To mi je hvala sto jedina posecujem tvoj topik.
=DA, HVALA TI. ZA SVAKI KLIK NA MOJ TOPIK DOBIJAM PO 10 $ OD  SPONZORA.

Well he can't outsmart me, 'cause I'm a moron  
=OVO VEC NE BIH KOMENTARISAO...

Quote from: "ghoul"

Quote from: "otaku"Let's see...what can I do to this guy next?  
=HMMM, I'M GETTING SOME IDEAS...

To mi je hvala sto jedina posecujem tvoj topik.
=DA, HVALA TI. ZA SVAKI KLIK NA MOJ TOPIK DOBIJAM PO 10 $ OD  SPONZORA.

Well he can't outsmart me, 'cause I'm a moron  
=OVO VEC NE BIH KOMENTARISAO...

U, sunce ti, zar sam ja sve to rekla?  

----------------- Just Pulling His Leg ---------------------

FREDRICKSBURG, Va. - A Virginia man has been charged with
pulling off a neighbor's prosthetic leg and beating him with
it during an argument. The fight started when the victim,
Michael Clapp, 38, discovered a bottle of medicine missing
from his Townsend Boulevard apartment Wednesday night, The
Free Lance Star of Fredricksburg, Va., reported Friday.
Clapp suspected his neighbor, 27-year-old Rodney Prophitt,
and went next door to confront him, city police spokesman
Jim Shelhorse said. Upon being confronted, Prophitt knocked
Clapp to the ground, then pulled off Clapp's artificial leg
and struck him with it several times. "At some point, Clapp
was able to grab his leg back, get back to his apartment and
call 911," Shelhorse said. Police charged Prophitt with
felonious assault and petty larceny. Clapp was treated at
Mary Washington Hospital for a broken nose and other facial
injuries.

OTTAWA - A student at Carleton University was having a spit-
ting contest with friends Saturday night when he plunged 11
floors off a downtown high-rise to his death. It appeared
that Ameer "AJ" Jinah took a running start in an attempt to
spit further than his two friends when he accidentally
launched himself over the balcony railing. The leaping
spitter was described by security guard Jason Armstrong as
"one of the classiest guys. He had a maturity beyond his
age." Actions speak louder than words in this case...  

Quote from: "ghoul"OTTAWA - A student at Carleton University was having a spit-
ting contest with friends Saturday night when he plunged 11
floors off a downtown high-rise to his death. It appeared
that Ameer "AJ" Jinah took a running start in an attempt to
spit further than his two friends when he accidentally
launched himself over the balcony railing. The leaping
spitter was described by security guard Jason Armstrong as
"one of the classiest guys. He had a maturity beyond his
age." Actions speak louder than words in this case...  

classic Darwin Award

human gene pool is slightly better off without HIS chromosomes, that's for sure!

--------------- Their Health Was At Stake ------------------

MAROTINUL DE SUS, Romania - A Romanian family convinced a
late relative was a vampire dug up his body, pierced it with
wooden stakes and removed his heart. Gheorge Marinescu said
he led the family's graveyard expedition to dig up his
brother-in-law Petre Toma's grave to snuff out the vampire.
Toma died last year at the age of 76. Marinescu said his
wife, son and daughter-in-law were all sick because Toma
drank their blood before he died. "I decided to unbury him.
I've seen these kinds of things before," Marinescu said.
"We took his heart and he sighed when we stabbed him. We
burned it, then dissolved the ash in water. The people who
had fallen sick drank it." Marinescu said his family got
better immediately. For good measure, they pierced the body
several times with wooden stakes. Police were planning to
exhume the body again to determine if desecration charges
would be filed.

jos malo ghoulish news:

A group of employees at the Urgel Bourgie funeral home in
Montreal, Quebec, Canada have been on strike since December
with demands for better wages and greater job security. In
order to make their voices heard, approximately 50 workers have
been seen clapping and cheering at recent funerals and
viewings. Mourning families, including that of a 73-year-old
man who lost his wife of 50 years, have been shocked and
outraged by the actions of these ignorant employees.

he he, paj'te sad ovog kriminalca: ovo je stvarno creeepy!

Police in southern Texas are seeking a Barbie doll-wielding
man who has been stalking a residential neighborhood, the
Houston Chronicle reported Tuesday. Pasadena police say the
man is masked as he knocks on doors while carrying a Barbie
doll. The man, clad in black clothes, doesn't say anything
but continues knocking while waving a Barbie doll. One resi-
dent, Debbie Cryer, said that the man came to her house four
times in the past week. "He waves the Barbie doll. He'll
take the doll (in his hands) and hold it with its legs
spread open. He takes the Barbie doll and he shakes it...
It's the only part of him that moves. He stands directly
straight and he'll just move the Barbie doll. And then he
strokes the hair sometimes," she explained. A neighbor told
officers a man wearing a black mask waved a Barbie doll in
front of her peephole early Friday. He fled over her backyard
fence when she answered the door, police said.

Evo= pa posle, nek staje na ludi kamen ko je blesav:


+------------- Bizarre Wedding Day Disasters --------------+

A French bride was arrested at her wedding reception in 1995
for stabbing the groom with the knife they had just used to
cut the wedding cake.

Right before he was due to conduct a wedding in West York-
shire, Father Rodney Chapman tripped over a bible , crashed into the aisle  and broke his foot . With blood streaming down his face , he managed to marry the couple before going to the hospital.

When the future George IV got married to Princess Caroline
of Brunswick in 1795, he was so drunk he had to be carried
to the altar by his two ushers. During the ceremony, he rose
at one point as if trying to escape. Later, when asked by
the Archbishop if there was any impediment to the marriage,
the groom started to cry. After briefly visiting the marital
bed that night, he fell asleep in the fireplace.
=SHAMPION!!!

Newlywed Kal Thorpe left All Saints' Church, Erdington,
Birmingham, in August 1986 to discover that the wedding car
had been stolen.

At a wedding at Kingston, Surrey, in 1973, the vicar fell
ill and a replacement had to be found at short notice. Then
the bride fainted when the groom put the ring on her finger
and, despite attempts to revive her, remained unconscious
for 20 minutes.

On the day of Princess Maria del Pozzo della Cisterno and
Amadeo, the Duke of D'Aosta's wedding, Cisterno's mistress
hanged herself, the palace gatekeeper cut his throat, the
colonel leading the wedding procession collapsed from sun-
stroke, the stationmaster was crushed to death under the
wheels of the honeymoon train, the King's aide died when he
fell from his horse, and the best man shot himself. Other-
wise, everything went smoothly...

FORT DODGE, IOWA - A paramedic was fired and denied benefits
after allegedly handling a corpse in an inappropriate
manner. Scott Kirkhart was fired from Trinity Regional Medi-
cal Center after he stuck his fingers in the mouth of a
corpse which he was taking to the morgue. A security officer
present had a "strong reaction," to the incident, according
to state records. As a result, Kirkhart shoved his fingers
into the dead person's nostrils and later grabbed the per-
son's breast and said "honk, honk." Hospital officials say
he admitted to putting his fingers in the dead person's
mouth but denied the other accusations. He argued at a hear-
ing that his benefits should be paid to him since touching
a corpse is not unusual in training practices, but the judge
disagreed, saying that Kirkhart wasn't in training at the
time and that it is inappropriate to desecrate a body.

--------------- Putting the Pieces Together ----------------

WAKEFIELD, England - A court battle is under way in the
northern English town of Wakefield where a couple was
unaware the house they bought was a "house of horrors." Alan
and Susan Sykes filed the lawsuit after watching a crime
documentary that recounted how a biologist from Leeds
University had killed his 13-year-old adopted daughter 20
years ago and chopped her body into 105 pieces, which were
then hidden around the house. As the couple watched the
video, they noticed the home looked rather familiar. It was
then they came to the eerie realization that the hideous
crime had occurred in their home. They claim they would
never have bought the house in Wakefield if the sellers,
James and Alison Taylor-Rose, had told them about the
recent history of the $150,000 property. Parts of the girl's
body were hidden under the floorboards; others were secreted
in plant pots and a coffee jar. Some were never found.

BOSTON - Ian Klein was tired of seeing his overweight sister
struggling to find relationships. So he decided to create
a matchmaking website where like-sized people could come
together. Overweightdate.com caters to the larger population
and has become quite popular. The site focuses on the "Big,
Beautiful Women" and "Big, Handsome Men" market, but attracts
the chubby-chasers as well. Klein says his sister has now
been in a relationship with the same man for "quite some
time." He claims that millions of people are using his site
and since 64 percent of Americans are considered overweight,
his site caters to the majority of the population.

greota da postavljam novi topik o abn-u, ali moram barem ovde da navedem neke bisere za one koji nisu povlashceni da primaju ABN-ov nenamerno-humoristicki chain-letter:

ABN kao filmski krititchar: odlomak iz njegovog osvrta na FRANKENSTAJNA Keneta Brane:

Film takodje ima ogromne kolitchine onoga shto je u
ameritchkim filmovima izrazito glupo, drastitchno
glupo, a to je, da kad neko nastrada, svi urlitchu
njegovo ime i trtche iz sve snage ka njemu, iako time
otchigledno samo mogu da odmognu (ili da i sami
nastradaju) a ne mogu ama bash ni najmanje da pomognu.
Na primer: ubica je pucao iz prikrajka, ne vidi se
tatchno odakle, i pogodio je nekoga, i taj neko sad
lezhi na parkingu, ranjen. Svi ostali likovi se
dernjaju, izvikujuchi njegovo ime, i jedan po jedan
pritrtchavaju, da bi ubica mogao da pogodi i njih i na
kraju da odsheta neuhvachen, neotkriven. Shta onaj
prvo pogodjeni ima od toga shto ga oni svi intenzivno
obaveshtavaju kako se on zove – a onda i sami poginu?
Ili, neko je 100 metara udaljen, i vidi se da je na
njega pala zhica sa strujom i da je sevnulo i prasnulo
– udarila ga je struja. Shta on ima od toga shto che
trkatchi ka njemu da izvikuju, uporno, iz sve snage,
kako se on zove?

Apsolutno treba snimiti jedan film u kome jedan
Amerikanac ulazi u minsko polje, i nagazi na jednu
minu, a onda sa svih strana pritrtchavaju neki njegovi
poznanici vitchuchi kako se on zove, i svi nalete na
mine, a onda hiljade, hiljade drugih postupaju tako
isto, izvikujuchi nebrojena imena jedni-drugih, pa i
oni svi nalete na mine, dok se ne napravi planina
barem 1500 metara visoka od njihovih tela ili dok neko
ne shvati koliko je to glupo. Glumpavo.

Pa, nije valjda da oni to rade i u stvarnom zhivotu?

Glupost slitchnih razmera je ono kad vozatch
znatchajno blene u suvozatcha i vozi dalje, pet
sekundi . . . deset . . . petnaest . . . ne
gledajuchi kuda vozi.

To su, dakle, neke od mana ovog filma, ali, on ima i
svoje vrednosti.


a sad, ABN kao nautchnick, zatchudyien geoloshkhim misterijama Marsa:

Ne vidi se
mehanizam kojim bi milijarde kubnih kilometara vode
bile podizane nazad ka nekim visijskim terenima, da bi
se odatle slivale ka nekoj niskoj geografskoj (da ne
kazhemo nadmorskoj) visini. I kao da su te
hiper-ogromne reke zahvatale, svojom shirinom, vishe
od polovine ukupnog kopna, a tek to ne bi moglo biti:
reka mora da bude, ipak, relativno uzana u odnosu na
kontinent, koji mora biti mnogo shiri od nje. Dakle,
erozija na Marsu je nerazumljiva zato shto zahvata
prevelika prostranstva.

------------ You Got a License for That Razor? -------------

LEXINGTON, Neb. - The women residing in the Midwestern town
of Lexington, Nebraska better get used to bristly kisses from
their male counterparts until mid-summer. The town's mayor,
John Fagot, has implemented a "ban" on shaving for every man
in town over the age of 21. Unless in possession of a shaving
permit, beardless males could face being dunked in a horse tank
or other absurd punishment. The playful law was put into place
to get the town in the spirit of this summer's Plum Creek Days.
A tradition since 1939, those found clean-shaven will be
arrested and taken to Kangaroo Court, which is to be held every
Friday starting June 4 and will include "trumped-up charges
and fun sentencing," according to Fagot.

In Pryor, Oklahoma, Mayes County prosecutors have filed felony counts against a local man and a couple for allegedly binding the couple's 8-year-old boy and piercing his genitals with a hog ring.

Authorities said 36 yr old jimmy Elrod, his wife 38 yr old Denise Elrod, and their house-mate 37 yr old Robert Crane, were charged earlier this week with injury to a child and lewd molestation. The Elrods are the adoptive parents of the boy and his 9-year-old sister.

Following the arrest, the siblings were removed from Crane's home and placed in protective custody. Authorities arrested the Elrods and Crane after the boy was examined by a doctor at Tulsa's juvenile justice center. Denise Elrod told deputies that the boy was tied up at night to stop him from masturbating, and that the hog ring was applied for the same reason. Crane and the Elrods are each being held on $200,000 bail and are facing a prison sentence of ten years.

------------ Questioning Her [Senti]mentality --------------

It is not unusual for people to collect things, such as
coins or stamps. However, it is a little odd to have a
collection of body parts. For actress Drea de Matteo, who
plays Adriana La Cerva on the television series The
Sopranos, sentimentality leads to her desire to collect bits
and pieces of those who mean the most to her. She has just
added to her bizarre collection by becoming the proud owner
of her brother's teeth. "He sent me all his teeth in the
mail. He had one side of his mouth replaced. I like to keep
things. I'm sentimental." However, De Matteo's strangest
keepsakes rest in a jar on her bedside table - the testi-
cles from her Great Dane. She remarked, "He's still alive.
I show them to him every time he misbehaves. I think he
knows they're his."

kako neko bez muda uopste moze da se 'misbehave'= is beyond me!

WINTER HAVEN, Fla. - A huge food fight at the Spring Haven
Retirement Community resulted in a man taking a bite out of
another's arm and other residents suffering minor injuries.
The whole fracas began after a dispute at the salad bar.
Resident Lee Thoss was picking through the lettuce, much to
the disgust of William Hocker, who was in line behind him.
Hocker told Thoss that nobody wanted to eat food he had
been touching, causing Thoss to yell and curse at him.
Hocker informed police and called Thoss a nasty name. Then,
according to witnesses, Thoss started punching Hocker in
the face. In the full-out fight that followed, Allen Croft
attempted to grab Thoss, who bit his arm. Thoss' mother,
Arlene, who also lives at the home, tried to break up the
fight and ended up with a cut arm. All involved did not
press charges, but administrators have asked Lee Thoss to
leave.

------------ Her Spirits Weren't the Holy Kind -------------

WARSAW - A Polish Benedictine nun might have to break her
drinking habit after she was busted for drinking and driving
and might be heading to jail. According to a police report,
the 45-year-old nun drove a tractor into a car while
intoxicated outside her convent in southwestern Poland.
Darius Waluch, police spokesman in the Polish town of
Dzierzoniow, said that she will be charged with drinking
and driving and causing an accident, which holds a prison
sentence of up to two years. Waluch said the nun was 17
times over the country's legal alcohol limit for driving.

+----------------- Bizarre Personal Ads -------------------+

[Courtesy of netscape.com]

Looking for third-degree-burned beauties to satisfy my grow-
ing fetish for wrinkled skin. Have tried elderly women and
bathtub babes, but now only skin grafts get me going.

I've got issues; you've got the cure. I need lots of time
on the couch; you need a sympathetic ear and board certi-
fication. Must not charge by the hour.

Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If
you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long
expeditions, don't apply.

Single female who enjoys interpretive dance, wearing black
clothing, and drinking herbal tea seeks standoffish, analy-
tical wimp to create Jell-O sculptures and ballroom dance
in my living room.

Thirty-five-year-old doctor who wants to finally meet a
woman with true inner beauty. Outward appearance not a
factor. Please send X-rays.

You have brown hair and green eyes, with a mole on your left
cheek. I watch you from behind the bushes with my binoculars.
Don't bother to respond; I already know where you live.

Former scientist in search of test subject for study on the
line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and excruciation.
Those with high pain thresholds ineligible.

Born-again female Pentecostal seeks male acolyte for
meaningful relationship and serpent handling. Speaking in
tongues a plus! God-fearing applicants only.

***

ALISO VIEJO, Calif. - Concerned city officials considered
banning foam cups after learning that the "dangerous" chem-
ical dihydrogen monoxide was used in their production. Then
the red-faced officials learned that dihydrogen monoxide,
or H2O for short, is the scientific term for water. "It's
embarrassing," said City Manager David J. Norman. "We had
a paralegal who did bad research." The paralegal believed
information posted on an official looking Web site that
described dihydrogen monoxide as "an odorless, tasteless
chemical" that can be deadly if inhaled. The City Council
had planned to vote next week on a proposed law that would
have prohibited the use of foam cups at city-sponsored
events. The measure has since been pulled from the agenda.

-------------- Hard Up for Some Treatment ------------------

VILLA GONZALEZ - Some men have problems even achieving an
erection, but one unfortunate guy in the Dominican Republic
was suffering from a hard-on that lasted six days. 25-year-
old Ignacio Cabrera became a tourist attraction after
admitting himself to the hospital. Nurses, doctors and even
members of the public at Jose Maria Cabral and Baez Hospital
showed up to get a glimpse for themselves. Doctors told
Cabrera that emergency surgery was needed because the
condition could have left him impotent if it went untreated.
Since Cabrera denied taking sexual stimulants, the hospi-
tal's director said he could be suffering from a rare form
of anemia that can give men erections for long durations of
time.

The 23-year-old Maine resident attempted to commit suicide
through crucifixion by nailing himself to a wooden cross.
However, he found out the hard way that such a process required
the work of multiple people. After driving a 14-penny nail
through one of his hands with a hammer, he realized he wouldn't
be able to impale the other. Dejected, the man dialed 911 and
later had the nail removed.

------------- The Way God Intended It To Be? --------------

Next month Florida will be graced with the world's first
Christian nudist colony. Complete with a hotel, 500 homes,
a water-slide park and a non-denominational 'clothing
optional' church, the colony, called Natura, will be a place
for those Christians who wish to wear only what God gave
them. Co-founder Bill Martin, who's a Quaker, said, "Depend-
ing on the version of the Bible you use, there are as many
as 40 passages that refer to nudity. In Isaiah 20.2, God
tells Isaiah to go into the wilderness naked for three
years. So there's historical basis for a Christian nudist
lifestyle."

Men stopping at the john in the Virgin Airways Clubhouse in
New York's John F. Kennedy airport, terminal 4, are in for
a little surprise - urinals shaped like a woman's mouth,
complete with bright red lipstick, wide open and ready for
business. "In anything that we do there has to be a smile,
and that's the smile in this Clubhouse," said John Riordan,
Vice President of Customer Services for Virgin Airways. The
Netherlands based company Bathroom Mania designed the uri-
nals, which are appropriately called Kisses. "Kisses - the
sexy urinal, makes a daily event a blushing experience!
This is one target men will never miss!," said the Bathroom
Mania team via e-mail from the Netherlands. Bathroom Mania's
other designs include the Good Morning Sunshine flower potty,
and the Splish Splash bathtub shaped like a hammock.

A Georgia couple got into such a heated argument after see-
ing "The Passion of the Christ" that they ended up slugging
each other and landing themselves in jail. "It was the
dumbest thing we've ever done," Melissa Davidson told the
Statesboro (Ga.) Herald about the March 11 altercation
with her husband of 10 years, Sean Davidson. Melissa, 34,
and Sean, 33, were arguing over whether the "father" of
the Holy Trinity of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost is
human or spirit. Each received light injuries, and was
arrested on charges of simple battery. What really heated
up the fight was that they began discuss each other's
parents. "During that argument, they started arguing about
the mentality of each other's parents," Fred Cotton,
Bulloch County sheriff's deputy, said in his report. "That
is when ... they started fighting."

PANCHPARA, India - In order to better care for his 80-year-
old grandmother, a 25-year-old Indian man decided to marry
her. "I felt she needed extra care as she is old. I can
look after her better as a husband than as a grandson,"
Narayan Biswas told Reuters. His grandmother, Premodas
Biswas, is "happy" with her new hubby whom she married in
a traditional Hindu ceremony. Her first husband passed away
over 30 years ago. "I helped bring him up with my own hands
and now he looks after me. He is a good husband and ensures
I get my meals on time," she said. Local officials say that
marrying a blood relative is illegal under the Hindu
Marriage Act, but have no plans as of now to take action
against the odd couple since there have been no complaints
against them.

+--------------- Bizarre (and Dumb!) People ---------------+


A man in California was driving in the carpool lane when he
was pulled over for driving alone. The man argued that he
was not alone, he had three frozen cadavers in the back of
his van, and they should be counted as passengers. The
police officer did not agree, and wrote the man a ticket.

In Texas there is a company called "Guns for Hire" that
stages gunfights for westerns and such things. One day they
received a call from a woman who mistakenly thought that she
could hire them to kill her husband. Needless to say, she
received a hefty jail sentence.

A robber entered a convenience store in Oklahoma and deman-
ded all the money in the cash register. However, when he
decided there wasn't enough money, he tied up the clerk and
began to man the cash register himself. He was still there
three hours later when police came to arrest him.

A parachuting instructor was excited because his wife had
just bought him a camera to wear while jumping so that he
could tape the experience. On the way up to jump, he was so
excited that he put new film in, checked the battery, and
made sure the camera was secure on his helmet. He had an
amazing jump - but he forgot to put on his parachute.

Police in a small Kentucky town spent hours attempting to
talk a gunman out of a standoff situation. After seven hours
the police became impatient and shot tear gas into the house.
They realized that the gunman was standing beside them only
when he began to yell toward the home, "Please just give
yourself up and come out with your hands up."

A man entered a fast-food restaurant and explained that he
was robbing them. He pulled out a gun and put a bag over his
head as a mask. Only then did he realize he had forgotten to
cut eyeholes in the makeshift mask. He fell to the ground,
where employees made a citizens' arrest.

-------- It's Not a Good Idea to Sleep on the Job ----------

OKLAHOMA CITY - An Oklahoma couple was shocked when they
woke up to discover a drunken intruder asleep in bed with
them. The couple called police, ran out of the home and
watched as the officers arrested the man who was still
asleep despite the loud sirens and commotion. Dan Johnson,
24, was arrested on the scene and charged with burglary.
According to Officer Chad Anthony, it took a great deal of
effort to wake the suspect up from his deep slumber. "After
about two to three minutes, Johnson stood up. I saw that he
was very intoxicated," he wrote. Johnson had a cell phone
on him that belonged to one of the victims and also $4 in
cash that he apparently stole. He is also suspected of kick-
ing down a door at the home and attempting to get in by
using garden trimmers to pry open the door.