ZNAK SAGITE — više od fantastike — edicija, časopis, knjižara...

------------------- A Bloody Good Read ---------------------

LONDON - A British author has written a new book that is
certainly not for those with weak stomachs. Geoffrey
Abbott's book, "The Executioner Always Chop Twice," offers
a blow by blow account of executions gone wrong. Abbott got
the inspiration for his novel from his many years of service
as a Yeoman Warder at the Tower of London. One story
recounts the hanging of John Bartendale in 1634. His body
was buried near the scaffold, but when a passer-by saw the
dirt moving above Bartendale's grave, the stranger dis-
covered the "living corpse." Then there was the tale of
James Scott, Duke of Monmouth, who was to have his head
chopped off in 1685. Even after Scott tipped the execu-
tioner six guineas to do the job right, it still took him
three or four whacks to cut off Scott's head with a knife.

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Britain: Chicken-Equipped Nuke Not a Hoax
Thu Apr 1,10:50 AM ET  Add Strange News - AP to My Yahoo!


By MICHAEL McDONOUGH, Associated Press Writer

LONDON - A claim that Britain considered using live chickens in a nuclear weapon aroused skepticism Thursday, but officials insisted it was not an April Fool's hoax.

 

"It's a genuine story," said Robert Smith, head of press and publicity at The National Archives.


The archives released a secret 1957 Ministry of Defense report showing that scientists contemplated putting chickens in the casing of a plutonium land mine.


The chickens' body heat was considered a possible means of preventing the mine's mechanism from freezing.


Listing ways of extending the armed life of the land mine, the declassified document proposed "incorporating some form of heating independent of power supplies under the weapon hull in the emplacement. Chickens, with a heat output of the order of 1,000 BTU (British Thermal Units) per bird per day are a possibility."


The seven-ton device, code named "Blue Peacock," would have been detonated from a distance or by timer in the event of a retreat from invading Soviet troops, to prevent them from occupying the area.


Andy Oppenheimer, co-editor of Jane's World Armies, said he found the idea of using chickens hard to believe.


"I have a feeling that it's an April Fool," he said in a phone interview. He said wrapping the device in fiberglass to keep it warm would have been a better option.


Some newspapers also expressed skepticism.


"Is today the day to reveal the chicken-powered nuke?" The Times of London wrote, referring to the April 1 date. Nonetheless, The Times put it on page one.


Tom O'Leary, head of education and interpretation at the National Archives, said he had no doubt that the document was authentic.


"None whatsoever," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "It's not the kind of thing the civil service does, to set up an April Fool's joke."


O'Leary said the idea is mentioned briefly in a long document.


"It's purely a suggestion in an official document that that is a possibility that was proposed," he said, and there was no indication that the feasibility was ever tested.


The "Blue Peacock" project began in 1954 and was aimed at preventing enemy occupation of territory due to nuclear contamination. Designs were based on Britain's "Blue Danube" free-fall bomb, which consisted of a plutonium core surrounded by a sphere of high explosive with detonators spread across the surface.


Officials decided in 1957 to acquire 10 "Blue Peacock" land mines, each weighing 16,000 pounds (7,250 kilograms), and to station them with the British Army of the Rhine in Germany. However, in 1958 the Ministry of Defense Weapons Policy Committee decided that work on "Blue Peacock" should stop, after reservations emerged about the fallout hazard.


A prototype survives in the historical collection of the Atomic Weapons Establishment, a government agency which has its headquarters at Aldermaston west of London.

 



"The whole operational scenario appeared somewhat theatrical," said an article in the AWE's magazine in January. It did not mention chickens, but did deal with the problem of maintaining the right temperature.

"The nuclear warhead had to be kept within a specific temperature range, but environmental trials suggested it might not have survived the rigors of a mid-European winter," the article said.

Details of the chicken proposal feature in an April 2-Oct. 30 exhibition entitled "The Secret State" at the National Archives in Kew, west London.

A central Chinese woman got more than she bargained for when
she had breast enhancement surgery - two extra breasts. The
pair began growing on the 24-year-old woman's stomach a year
after she underwent surgery at a clinic in Hunan province.
They continued growing until she was forced to have another
operation to remove them, according to the Hong Kong edition
of the China Daily yesterday. The first surgical procedure
was done at a small beauty salon which was not authorized to
perform breast enlargement surgery, the newspaper said.
Although cosmetic surgery has become much more popular in
China the past few years, there is not much official regu-
lation on the industry. After this incident, perhaps that
will change...

BELEN, N.M. - A New Mexico family who had just completed a
funeral mass for a loved one were shocked to discover his
cremation urn contained only sanitary wipes. There was
nothing sinister about the missing remains, but rather a
mix-up by a confused funeral home employee created the
mourning fiasco. The funeral for the late Edward Pacheco
went ahead Monday, although the family had not been informed
Pacheco had not yet been cremated, said Dicky Romero of
Romero Funeral Homes       in Belen. Romero said the employee was
told the crematorium was waiting for the signed death
certificate and cremation authorization. Romero said when he
asked his employee why he let the funeral proceed to the
cemetery, he responded he hadn't known what to do. "This is
a mockery," said Helen Pacheco-Torres, Pacheco's sister. "As
a Catholic family, we performed a Mass for our loved one,
but in reality, we blessed a package of baby wipes."

Although the world of fat erotica, a sexual subculture where
FAs (fat admirers) look for huge women, can be a welcome
change to society's obsession with thinness, there is a dark
side to it all. Within the community of FAs, there are men
referred to as "feeders," who encourage their partners to
gorge themselves so they become as fat as humanely possible.
One such couple is Gina and Mark from Arizona. Although Mark
considers himself an "enabler," and not a "feeder," his
obsession was to create the world's fattest woman. He began
"growing" Gina and documenting the procedure in a series of
nude videos. He achieved his goal - Gina topped out at about
836 pounds - but almost killed her in the process. Much to
Mark's displeasure, she had surgery and is now at a more
comfortable 418 pounds.

AMSTERDAM - Move over body piercing and tattoos - a new
fashion craze is in town. The new look starting in the
Netherlands is eyeball jewelry. Dutch eye surgeons implant
a 3.5 mm (0.13 inch) piece of specially developed jewelry
called "JewelEye" in the mucous membrane of the eyes under
local anesthetic. So far the cosmetic surgery has been
performed on the eyes of six women and one man at an
ophthalmic surgery research and development institute in
Rotterdam. "In my view it is a little more subtle than
(body) piercing. It is a bit of a fun thing and a very
personal thing for people," said Gerrit Melles, director of
the Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery
(www.NIIOC.nl). The institute developed and patented the
jewels made with special materials and the surgical proce-
dure, and has a waiting list for people wanting the
implant.

------------------ Talk About Hard Labor -------------------

In what is thought to be the first case of its kind, a preg-
nant woman in Mexico performed a caesarean section on her-
self with a kitchen knife and gave birth to a healthy baby
boy. The 40-year-old woman lived in a rural area without
electricity, running water or sanitation, and it was an
eight-hour drive from the nearest hospital. "She took three
small glasses of hard liquor and, using a kitchen knife,
sliced her abdomen in three attempts...and delivered a male
infant that breathed immediately and cried," said Dr R.F.
Valle, of the Dr Manuel Velasco Suarez Hospital in San Pablo,
Mexico. The woman told one of her children to call a local
nurse for help before losing consciousness. The nurse
stitched the wound with a sewing needle and cotton thread,
and the mother and baby were taken to the nearest hospital.

DUSSELDORF, Germany - A woman has been given two years pro-
bation for making hoax bomb calls to German airports to
avoid a holiday with her boyfriend, the BBC reported.
Marina Busbosnjac     , 29, pleaded guilty to making the threats
last September. One of her calls forced Dusseldorf Interna-
tional Airport to shut down for six hours. Airport officials
evacuated thousands of people and cancelled 200 flights.
The woman told the court she had been trying to keep her
relationship with her boyfriend a secret from her family,
and needed an excuse not to fly away on holiday with him.
She apparently made similar calls to Frankfurt and Cologne-
Bonn airports on the same day, mentioning al Qaida in one
call to make her warning appear more credible.

+-------------- Bizarre Newspaper Headlines ---------------+

STRIP CLUBS SHOCK - Magistrates May Act On Indecent Shows
(Daily Mirror).

AUDIENCE TRIED TO SPOIL PLAY - But St. Chad's Players
Succeeded (Sunderland Echo).

A FARMER'S WIFE IS BEST SHOT (Glasgow Evening Citizen).

NUDIST NABBED - Unclothed Man Who Admits Brandishing Pistol
Is Charged With Carrying Concealed Weapon (Providence Jour-
nal).

MAGNATE USED TO REMOVE NAIL IN STOMACH (Los Angeles Times).

PUBLIC HEALTH PROBLEM - Special Committee To Sit On Bed Bug
(Liverpool Echo).

PIPELINE RAPTURED (Ghanaian Times).

UNDERTAKER'S FAILURE - Let Down By Customers (Yorkshire
paper).

CHANNEL SWIM ATTEMPT - Boston Girl's Arrival in Liverpool
(Liverpool Echo).

POLICE FOUND SAFE UNDER BLANKET (Gloucestershire Echo).

------------ Too Bad His Getaway Wasn't As Clean -----------

SHEFFIELD, England - Colin Sadd is most likely one of the
nicest car thieves around, but he is headed to the slammer
again. Sadd was sentenced to six years in prison after
admitting to stealing five cars and claiming responsibility
for 31 other thefts. Sadd's tricks include dressing up in a
suit and going to a car dealer for a test drive. The car
isn't returned, but is abandoned after being spotlessly
cleaned. "He looked after the cars he stole better than me,"
said his wife, Mary. "He only takes brand new vehicles,
drives them around for a couple of hours, then he cleans
them inside and out. He will even buy a tin of polish to
give them an extra sparkle and sometimes takes them to a car
wash to get them extra clean." Psychiatrists have diagnosed
Sadd with a compulsive disorder, and he was described by a
judge in a previous case as "the man you would most want to
steal your car.

------------ Not the Kick He Was Hoping to Get -------------

The Internet can be a great place for those with strange
desires to have all their fantasies come true. One such
desire is that of a "rape fantasy." However, if you're going
to set up a dream rape with a willing participant through a
rape fantasy chat room, be sure you break into the right
apartment to act out the scenario. When Michael Todd Howard,
35, attacked the 25-year-old woman he found in the apartment
he entered last September, she fought back with all her
strength, including issuing a strong kick where it hurts.
His rape attempt ended there and he asked her what name she
used in the chat room. It was then he learned she had never
visited a chat room and didn't even own a computer. Michael
is now looking at a year in prison.

+----------------- Bizarre Police Reports -----------------+

In Detroit, Oregon, a hunter thought he had found a severed
human head in an abandoned mining shed and called the police.
Deputy Larry Taylor realized it was just the head of a manne-
quin when he noticed a price sticker on the forehead.

A California officer charged the driver of a white Mazda
with DUI after driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the
upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood.
When Fonteno asked the drunk driver about the pole, he respon-
ded: "It came with the car when I bought it."

The driver of an armored truck in Edmonton, Alberta appeared
to be signaling for help as he repeatedly swung his door open.
After six police cruisers chased and stopped the truck, it
turned out, the driver had simply tried to fan fresh air into
the cabin after the other guard had passed gas.

In Boynton, Florida, Michael Harrison and Kevin Carter were
arrested and charged with armed robbery and murder in their
attempt to raise money to attend the police academy.

Stockholm, Sweden - Customs officers in Stockholm, Sweden
arrested a woman who had tried to smuggle 75 live snakes
in her bra. The officers became suspicious when they noticed
how the woman kept scratching her chest.

MIAMI - A man in a chicken costume who follows typed comm-
ands is sweeping the Internet as part of a Burger King
advertising campaign. The actor that appears, complete with
a garter belt, responds to hundreds of typed commands, but
stops short of pornography. However, the chicken will obey
a command to pee on the couch at the subservientchicken.com
site. The chicken also responds to commands to riverdance,
moonwalk, somersault and bullfight. The soundless site looks
like one of many Web cam pornography sites where a user can
type in a command and a person on the screen will follow it.
However, ask the chicken to do a lewd act and it walks up to
the camera and wags a scolding finger. "The site is geared
to reach out to the 20- and 30-year-olds that are difficult
to reach with traditional advertising," said Blake Lewis, a
spokesman for the Miami-based chain. There is little refer-
ence to Burger King, apart from a button to click for infor-
mation on the BK Tendercrisp sandwich.

LONDON - At first glance it's just your average, innocent
cookie tin. But upon closer inspection, you'll notice an
image that's not so clean - a hidden drawing of two dogs
having sex in the grass. Unaware that an angry employee
had hidden sexually explicit images in the scene of a 20th
century illustration of a genteel picnic, biscuit makers
Huntley & Palmers sold thousands of these cookie tins. The
artist, who was not identified, had been fired from the
cookie company and decided to get back at his employers with
this final project. He included the small picture of the
canines in the act as well as a pair of naked lovers. The
dirty tins have now become collectors' items and Lawrences
Auctioneers in Somerset, England, hopes that collectors bid
250 pounds ($446) when one of the tins goes on sale next
Friday.

+----------------- Bizarre Test Answers -------------------+

[Courtesy of netscape.com]

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 Deci-
bels.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do
what she did. Other women have become scientists since her,
but they didn't get to find radios because they were already
taken.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the
apple.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife
was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals
come onto in pears.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed
to get the tombstone off the entrance.

Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot
clipper.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "caesarian section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels, and you get inter-
continental.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."

----------- Kind Words Go To The Highest Bidder ------------

GRAND ISLAND, Nebraska - If you're willing to pay the price,
the Rev. Jim Keyser will say something nice...at your
funeral. The pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church felt
a tad out of place when trying to think of something work
related that he could auction at Saturday's Rotary Radio
Auction. So while bidding upon gas grills, DVD players, and
sprinkler systems, auction goers could also place their bid
for a compliment-packed eulogy. "For an extra $50, I'll say
some really nice things," Keyser said. His eulogy offer at
first began as a joke, but soon became a popular item. The
auction has even added a package that includes a funeral urn
and cremation service.

Two gay lovers made the best of Earth Day on Thursday by
climbing a Central Park tree, stripping, performing lewd
acts and refusing to come down for hours. A 32-year-old
transsexual wearing a black dress, and his partner, a 17-
year-old boy in only a pair of shorts, protested their
families' lack of understanding for their relationship by
scaling the 55-foot larch tree and performing for a crowd of
onlookers. The man played on branches near the top of the
tree and waved to the audience while the boy quietly sat a
few feet below him. Police said the man later performed oral
sex on the boy and stripped down to a thong. Police tried to
coax the amorous pair out of the tree by giving them soft
drinks - a Diet Vanilla Coke on demand - and water. After
about five hours, harnesses were put on the lovers and
police began to lure them down.

BLACKPOOL, England - Neighbors of a wealthy British woman
are irritated with a young man who lives in a tent on her
$1.6 million estate. Geraldine Lunt, heir to a motorhome
fortune, has been letting Mark Howarth, 30, live in a tent
at her luxurious seaside home in Blackpool for about three
years. And the Sun newspaper said she has been doing more
than just letting Howarth sleep outside, including taking
him with her on vacation as part of their "fling." Mean-
while, police have logged 41 incidents involving Howarth,
including being aggressive to locals and begging for money.
Lunt appears defiant. "I'm not bothered (by) what people
say about our relationship. They can call him my toy boy or
whatever. It may appear bizarre, but it isn't."

KOBLENZ, Germany - A German mother and her boyfriend are
being investigated for trying to sell the woman's young
daughter on the eBay Internet auction site. Three bidders,
who allegedly pushed the top offer for the 8-year-old girl
up to 25.50 euros ($30.35) are also under investigation for
attempted human trafficking, German news agency DPA reports.
The 41-year-old mother and her 35-year-old boyfriend live in
the western German city of Koblenz and are the subject of an
investigation by the Koblenz police. They allegedly posted a
picture of the girl to eBay's German-language auction site
with a starting price of one euro ($1.19) and a description
saying, "you can play with her." It is not clear whether the
Internet auction posting was intended to be a joke or was a
serious offer to sell the girl as a "real working toy," as
she was advertised.

+------------------ Bizarre Con Artists -------------------+

In 1872, veteran prospectors Philip Arnold and John Slack
bought $35,000 worth of diamonds in Europe and scattered them
on land in Wyoming. They managed to convince the Bank of San
Francisco they had discovered a diamond field and made
$700,000.

Starting in 1921, Oscar Merril Hartzell began a scam selling
fake shares in the estate of Sir Francis Drake. He contacted
as many families as he could find with the surname Drake and
was eventually accused of defrauding 270,000 people. The hoax
netted him over $2,000,000.

When J. Bam Morrison arrived at Wetumka, Oklahoma in 1950,
he claimed to be the advance publicity man for Bohn's United
Circus, which, he maintained, was due to hit town in three
weeks. He allegedly sold advertising space to local traders...
for a circus that didn't exist.

By forging signatures, James Addison Reavis was able to claim
he was the legal owner of 17,000 square miles of Arizona. The
enterprise raked in $300,000 a year until he was arrested in
1895 and he was sentenced to six years in prison.

Joseph Weill, who inspired the movie "The Sting," rented aban-
doned banks and convinced businessmen that he had set up a
genuine bank. He waited for them to deposit large sums of mon-
ey before shutting down and moving on to the next town. This,
plus some of his other scams, earned him over $6,000,000.

-------------- How To Get A Cuban Fired Up -----------------

WASHINGTON - A Spanish-language radio station in Miami may
have to cough up $4,000 after crank calling Cuban leader
Fidel Castro. The station, El Zol 95.7, convinced Castro
that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez was calling for help
in finding a suitcase containing secret documents he said
he lost during a trip to Argentina. A man pretending to be
a Chavez aide finally asked Castro: "Do you agree with the
shit on the island, murderer?" and added, "You fell for it...
the whole of Miami is listening to you, Fidel Castro." Need-
less to say, this pissed off the Cuban leader just a little
and he retorted, "What did I fall for, you shit?" He also
threw in a few other crude words, including references to the
anatomy of the radio host's mother. Castro eventually hung up
after a 25-minute conversation. The station has 30 days to
challenge or pay the hefty fine.

MEXICO CITY - Talk about good luck - an intoxicated Mexican
man fell asleep on railroad tracks and was run over by a
train - and managed to sleep through the whole episode and
escape unharmed. Jorge Lozano Lopez, 32, remained uncon-
scious until long after paramedics arrived on the scene.
"He must have been very drunk to have slept through all
that," said Jose Alfaro de la Rosa, a health official in the
northern town of San Nicolas de los Garza. "It's a miracle
he wasn't hurt." The train conductor noticed him on the
tracks and blew the whistle repeatedly but was not able to
wake him or stop the train in time. The undercarriage passed
within a few inches of his body but did not hit him. "I
counted only six beers," a bewildered Lozano Lopez told local
newspaper El Norte. "But who knows how many more there might
have been. I don't remember."

DALLAS - A woman named Sharon Luck was not so lucky on
Wednesday when she stole money from a bank and tried to take
the cash to a different bank to open a new account. When she
went to take the money out of her purse to deposit the
stolen cash, a pink dye pack attached to the money detonated
and covered her in pink. She was arrested on suspicion of
robbing a bank, after she handed the bank teller at the first
bank a threatening note and walked out with cash to which the
dye pack had been fastened. Police would not reveal how much
money was taken or divulge the contents of the note. After
the pack exploded, Luck ran out of the bank and was arrested
in the parking lot of a nearby store. She should have known
she wouldn't get too far - police said she was easy to spot
since she was covered in pink dye.

Dakle, žena je neuspeli kandidat za Darvinovu nagradu.

Grant Wood's famous painting of an old Indiana couple posing
in front of their farmhouse is considered the definitive por-
trait of the Midwestern farmer. In actuality, the man and
women aren't really a couple nor are they farmers. Also, the
"farmhouse" in the picture was once used as a bordello.

William Eno is considered to be the "Father of Traffic Safe-
ty." He supposedly originated stop signs, one-way streets,
taxi stands, pedestrian safety islands and traffic rotaries.
What is not known is that he never learned to drive and he
considered cars to be a passing fad.

The Beach Boys, who were considered to be the "Kings of Cali-
fornia Surfing, started a national surfing craze in the early
1960's. Four of the original members of the band knew nothing
about surfing and the only one that did, drowned in 1983.

In October 1994, "Weekly Reader" magazine ran an article
that "discussed smoker' rights and the harm done to the
tobacco industry by smoking restrictions. The article said
nothing about smoking being the cause of lung cancer. Turns
out the magazine is owned by the largest shareholders in
RJR Nabisco, makers of Camel cigarettes.

Karl Marx, considered to be the enemy of American capitalism,
accepted a job as the London correspondent of the New York
Tribune years after he had become famous as the author of the
"Communist Manifesto." His reason was that his anti-capitalist
political writing hadn't earned him enough to live on.

------- They're Almost As Plastic As The Actual Dolls ------

Two people that apparently have too much money on their hands
have spent about $300,000 to transform themselves into real-
life Barbie and Ken dolls. Cindy Jackson and Miles Kendall
have undergone 89 operations, ranging from jaw implants and
chemical peels to liposuction, to look like the best-selling
dolls. The pair is ecstatic with the results - super white
smiles, wrinkle-free brows and finely chiseled cheekbones.
The only difference between the plastic dolls and the plastic
surgery pair is that Jackson and Kendall are not an item.
Kendall was a 33-year-old divorcee from Stoke, England, when
he first thought about altering his appearance two years ago.
When he saw Jackson on television discussing her transforma-
tion, he contacted her to ask if he could be the male ver-
sion. She happily obliged and gave the go-ahead for his six-
month surgical transformation.

------------ He's So Dumb It Should Be A Crime -------------

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. - Attention all bank robbers: it's
not a good idea after a heist to head to the bar, order a
beer, and start counting your loot. If you decide to do
this, you will end up like Ronald Langdale and find yourself
in jail. Lengdale walked across a parking lot from a Bank of
America branch, wandered into a pub, sat down and had a beer.
Police, who had obtained a description of the suspect, were
checking nearby businesses when they went into the bar and
saw the man who fit the description. When they got closer,
they saw he was nonchalantly counting "a wad of money." "The
officers were doing an area check and sure enough, they hit
it rich," a police spokesman said. "His clothing was exactly
the same. He wasn't hard to find." They gave Langdale a tap
on the shoulder and took him to a waiting police car. He is
being held without bail.

JAPAN - A man from the western Japan city of Hiroshima has
been arrested for stealing women's underwear after police
raided his home to find 4000 pairs of garments collected
over 30 years. Local reports said the 55-year-old man
confessed to stealing the items and he explained to the
private Fuji television network, "I love women's underwear
and could not control my desire." The fetishist was caught
was the husband of one of his victims caught him on his
balcony about to add to his stash. Police said they had
confiscated the 4,000 pairs of underpants.

If you ever meet Chicago Cub's player Moises Alou, you may
want to think twice about shaking his hand. Alou, who
doesn't wear batting gloves, mentioned in an ESPN.com story
that he urinates in his hands to toughen them up. When the
Chicago Tribune asked him where he picked up this technique,
he said: "A lot of guys in the league do it. Guys in this
clubhouse do it." His strong hands tactic might be pushing
the boundaries of good taste - even by locker-room standards.
Alou said he figured the subject matter was off the record
in the ESPN.com story, even though he didn't expressly say
so, due to its crude nature. Guess he'll think twice from
now on before revealing information he doesn't want every-
one to know!

GERMANTOWN, Wis. - A horrible scent of decay brought author-
ities to an apartment in suburban Milwaukee. When they
searched it, they were astonished to find the place was
home to about 200 creatures. Alligators, scorpions, carni-
vorous beetles, and a number of other bizarre creatures were
found crawling about the apartment, all kept alive thanks to
a woman who fed them roadkill. "The smell was just
unbelievable," said William Mitchell, a state conservation
warden. Authorities found animal carcasses in the freezer and
decaying carcasses in an adjacent garage. Jamie L. Verburgt,
the apartment resident, was given two state citations for
possessing game animals out of season, Mitchell said. The
animals were taken by the Washington County Humane Society.

NANJING, China - An incensed husband in China's eastern city
of Nanjing divorced his wife after learning she hired a
group of men to kill their family dog. The state Xinhua news
agency said the unidentified woman was concerned the wolf-
hound would make a mess of the couple's newly furnished
apartment, so she contracted a "hit" with four men while her
husband was away on business. She said she tried many times
to drive the dog away, but it kept coming home. When her
husband returned and learned what she had done, he immed-
iately filed for a divorce, saying he could "no longer live
under the same roof with a murderer." He decided that a
divorce was the only way out, Xinhua said.


[Ja bi ubio kuchku, but then it's only me... ]

LONDON - Internet-savvy Christians in London can now attend
mass without even leaving their home. Britain has become
home to a 3D Internet church, considered to be the first
chance for believers to log on and worship interactively.
Bishop of London Richard Chartres gave an inaugural sermon -
via a speech-bubble from his cartoon persona - during the
first service on the "Church of Fools" at www.shipoffools.com.
"No one has ever before created a stand-alone church where
you can log on as a worshipper and join in however you like,"
Web site deputy editor Stephen Goddard told Reuters. About
two dozen believers have become cartoon worshippers for the
mass, where they can also move around the church, talk to
each other, and give money to a collection plate - via cell
phone.

ORLANDO, Fla. - A lesson on gun safety wasn't so safe after
an agent shot himself in the leg while conducting the class
for children. The unidentified agent was teaching the class
when he suffered the wound in the thigh. The shooting was
ruled an accident by Orlando police. The gun presentation
was part of a class called "The Game of Life, the Game of
Gold" and was sponsored by the Orlando Minority Youth Golf
Association. The agent was explaining to the children how
to make good life choices, and it included the gun presen-
tation. He took the ammunition out of the gun as he pointed
it toward the floor, but when he released the slide it fired
into his thigh. Apparently there was one round left in the
chamber. "Everyone was pretty shaken up, but the point of gun
safety hit home," said Vivian Farmer, 52, who watched with
her 13-year-old son.

-------------- Sex (Change) Changes Everything --------------

Talk about confusing - a man who underwent a sex change
wants to have a baby with his lesbian girlfriend using sperm
which he froze before the operation. The unnamed couple from
London have flown to America for fertility treatment because
they wish to use embryo screening to ensure the baby is a
girl. This arrangement means the child will have two
"mothers" even though one will actually be her biological
father. Well, family campaigners aren't too happy about this
situation, describing it as "abhorrent." Former Liberal Demo-
crat MP Lord Alton said: "Trying to explain this riddle to a
young child who is bound to ask 'Who am I and where do I come
from?' is a recipe for confusion." The man and his girlfriend
were referred to the U.S. clinic by controversial fertility
expert Dr. Paul Rainsbury, one of the doctors in the middle
of the fight over so-called 'designer babies'.

----------- Insurance Can Cause A Big Headache -------------

MIDVALE, Utah - Health insurance can be a pain, especially
when it leaves you without part of your skull for months.
Briana Lane suffered almost four months with about half of
her skull sitting in a hospital freezer after surgery to
save her life after a car accident. Since the hospital
didn't at first consider the second surgery to be an emer-
gency, paperwork between it and the insurance company,
Medicaid, got stalled. Lane said that the time she spent at
home without a portion of her skull was excruciating. She
finally got it replaced on April 30. Lane says that after
she contacted a TV station, she was suddenly in line for
the surgery.

---------------- Do It For Your Country ------------------

CANBERRA, Australia - Couples in Australia now have a nice
incentive to have children - 2,000 bucks for every baby
born after June. Peter Costello, the treasurer of the
country, said that two children per couple in a nation of
20 million just isn't enough to sustain growth. He said it
is the "patriotic duty" of couples to have at least three
children. The initiative will be up for grabs for the next
five years. "You should have ... one for your husband, one
for your wife, and one for your country," Costello said.
Some couples might have to go even further and have extra
children "for your country" to accommodate for the gap left
by those "who are not even replicating themselves." The
father of three ended the news conference by telling repor-
ters, "You go home and do your patriotic duty tonight."

------------------ Naked Gnomes Nixed ----------------------

BARNSLEY, England - Peace has been restored to a northern
England town now that lewd garden gnomes are no longer
exposing their breasts and buttocks, Sky News said Thursday.
Police in Barnsley said they received several complaints
about the near-naked gnomes in the front garden of former
army Sgt. Tony Watson. Watson said he was tired of the
standard jolly-looking garden ornaments in cute poses, and
opted instead for racier models. However, after neighbors
complained, police told him he would be arrested if he did
not do something about the comical nudes. "It is an offense
to display something that is insulting or likely to cause
distress," a police spokesman told Sky News. So, one by one,
the gnomes were taken into Watson's home, and reappeared
soon after with bathing suits painted on, including one
gnomette who now wears a polka-dot bikini.

posto je Jor fin decko koji ima imidz gentlemana i prevodioca baka preko ulica, poslao je meni da ovo okacim:

BERLIN, May 18 (Reuters) - A German inventor who developed a
gadget that berates men if they try to use the toilet standing
up has sold more than 1.6 million devices, his business manager
said on Tuesday.
German women fed up with a man with a poor aim can turn to
the ghost-shaped gadget, which lurks under the toilet rim and,
if the seat is lifted, declares in a stern female tone:
"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down
right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you
will make a right mess..."
Alex Benkhardt, 46, invented the "WC Ghost" and its creators
are in negotiations to market it in Britain, Canada and Italy.

+-------------------- Bizarre Execution -------------------+
FACTS

The last public execution in America was the hanging of a
22-year-old black man named Rainey Bethea. He was executed
at Owensboro, KY, in 1936 after being convicted of killing
a 70-year-old white women. Twenty thousand people showed up
to witness the execution.

The last person hanged in the U.S. for being a pirate was
Capt. Nathaniel Gordon, in New York City on March 8, 1862.
Gordon had been smuggling slaves into the US.

The last person to be burned at the stake was Phoebe Harrius.
Harrius was convicted of coining false money and was burned
at the stake in front of Newgate Prison in England in 1786.

The last public execution by guillotine was on June 17, 1939.
Eugen Weidman was executed before a large crowd in Versailles,
France. The last nonpublic use of the guillotine in France,
at Baumetes Prison, in Marsailles, was the execution of con-
victed murderer Hamida Djandoubi, a Tunisian immigrant, on
September 10, 1977.

During WWII Private Eddie Slovik was tried by court-martial
and sentenced to death for desertion. He was shot by his own
unit, the 28th Infantry Division, in a small town in north-
east France.

------------------- A Slippery Suspect ----------------------

BINGHAMPTON, N.Y. - A Motel 6 cleaning crew was surprised to
discover a mess of petroleum jelly on mattresses, bedding, a
TV set, furniture, carpeting and towels in one hotel room.
The culprit wasn't hard to find - authorities found him
covered head-to-toe in the gooey substance. Fourteen empty
petroleum jelly jars and several pornographic magazines were
found in Roger Chamberlain's room, and the damage caused to
the room exceeded $1,000. A sheriff's deputy tracked Chamber-
lain to a nearby hotel, and found the 44-year-old Virginia
man still covered in jelly. Chamberlain was charged with
criminal mischief on May 9, and was released on his own
recognizance.

Movie hunk Colin Farrell stunned onlookers in a toilet at the Cannes Film Festival - by taking off his trousers before using the urinal. The Alexander superstar was spotted in the men's room at the French city's Chateau Marmont establishment when he shocked other patrons in the bathroom with his oddball antics. After taking off his pants, Farrell slung them over the top of the stall and continued with his business. His PR woman Sue Patricola laughs, "God knows, I have traveled all over the world with Colin, but I have never experienced that."

LONDON, May 19 (Reuters) - The world's first Internet
church has fallen victim to a plague of virtual demons, some of
whom have been logging on as Satan and unleashing strings of
expletives during sermons.
The "Church of Fools" was launched last week as a unique
chance for Christians to worship interactively by choosing a
"3D" animated character who could kneel, sing hymns, talk to
others, hear a sermon, or shout "Hallelujah".
The site attracts between 5,000 and 10,000 worshippers
daily and those who log on can also give money to a collection
plate via mobile phone.
But the temptation to misbehave has proved too much for
some.
"We have had problems from a small number of worshippers,
which happens in any Internet chat room, and we are bothered
about individual harassment, which we are taking seriously,"
said the site's deputy editor, Stephen Goddard.
"We're increasing security day by day to eliminate the
disruptive behaviour, such as the profanity, but we're
determined to carry on...At least we're not preaching to the
converted," he added.
The Church, sponsored by the Methodist Church but organised
by the multi-denominational "Ship of Fools" project, said it
had removed a "shout" function where people could speak to the
whole congregation. Some were using it to hurl abuse or yell:
"Satan loves you".
The pulpit, altar and lectern areas will be closed to the
public after some worshippers walked their animated character
into those areas during sermons.
But the strongest measure against the unruly will be the
online equivalent of damnation: wardens will be able to smite
the wicked by instantly logging them out of the church if they
misbehave.
"In a way, we are facing the same problems faced by the
first preachers who met resistance when they moved into new
communities," said Goddard.
"But the church has always expanded into new communities
and some of those are to be found in cyberspace now, so we are
determined to carry on."
The Church of Fools is found at www.shipoffools.com.

+------------------- Bizarre Lawsuits ---------------------+

[Courtesy of netscape.com]

A student attending a college in Idaho fell from his window
while mooning a friend. The student then sued the college,
claiming that it had not provided adequate information about
the dangers of upper-story windows.

A California woman sued a grocery store after she dropped a
six-pack of beer on her feet. The woman was not injured, but
she said that it hurt. She won the lawsuit.

A construction worker in Tulsa intentionally cut his hand
off with a circular saw. When he was taken to the emergency
room, he told doctors not to reattach the hand, saying that
it was possessed. The man is now suing the doctors for not
reattaching his hand, claiming that the doctors should have
known he was psychotic.

A Blue Cross-Blue Shield worker sued IBM, claiming that
their keyboard's "faulty design" had caused pain in her hand
that kept her from working.

A man riding his bike from work at night with no lights,
only reflectors, was hit by a Jeep after the driver ran a
stop sign. The bicyclist sued the bike manufacturer because
he was not warned that reflectors might not be enough to
prevent an accident. The man was awarded $6 million.

Robert Lee Brock, an inmate in Virginia, has filed a lawsuit
against himself, claiming that he violated his own civil
rights by getting arrested. He is suing for $5 million and
asking the state to pay, since he can't have an income in
prison.

A man filed a suit against his son's baseball team when he
was asked to stop smoking so close to his kid's dugout. The
father claimed that this caused his son great emotional
distress. The judge fined the man and his lawyer $2,250 for
filing a frivolous suit.

Chris Morris brought a suit against the state of Michigan
for $1 million. Morris claims that he caught a cold in the
rotunda (a large, round room) of the state capitol building.
He was there to observe an art exhibition.

-------- Not Respecting Her Privates..Err..Privacy ---------

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - Rather than protecting the privacy of
others, an Orange County Fire Department employee violated
the privacy of a female employee by using a web camera to
spy on her. According to police, Hector Ray Valle used the
camera at the fire department to watch the female employee
from under a desk. She noticed it when she either dropped
something or bumped her leg and glanced underneath the desk.
She took a closer look to realize that it was pointed
directly at her, installed to look up her skirt. Detectives
took the camera, but couldn't get a word out of Valle, who
immediately resigned from his $67,000 a year job. In his
personnel file, Valle was described as someone who "earns
trust and loyalty" at his job. It seems that trust went too
far. "It was really sophisticated where he could actually
transmit wirelessly or through a cable network and I
believe that's what he was trying to do," says Carlos
Torres, Orange County Sheriff's Department.

STOCKHOLM - Amorous couples in quick need of protection can
dial the telephone number 696969 and the condom ambulance
will come to their rescue. The ambulance, a white van with
a large red condom with wings as a logo, will deliver them
a packet of 10 prophylactics. "We need to increase the
usage of condoms," said Carl Osvald, marketing manager for
the Swedish Organization for Sex Education, the non-
governmental organization behind the initiative. "It is 50
percent about pregnancy and 50 percent about sexually
transmitted diseases." The service will run until June 25
and is available between four in the afternoon and nine at
night. "We need to change attitudes to condoms," Osvald
said. "If we need to get out in to the bedrooms to make
things better we will do it."

GRANBY, Colo. - A muffler shop owner who plowed a makeshift armored bulldozer into several buildings after a dispute with city officials was found dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound after a SWAT team cut their way into the machine with a blowtorch early Saturday, authorities said.

Grand County Emergency Management Director Jim Holahan confirmed that the driver, identified by the town manager as Marvin Heemeyer, appeared to have shot himself.


Heemeyer plowed the armor-plated bulldozer into the town hall, a former mayor's home and at least five other buildings Friday before the machine ground to a halt in the wreckage of a warehouse.


City officials said he was angry over a zoning dispute and fines from city code violations at his business.


Authorities detonated three explosions and fired at least 200 rounds against the heavy steel plates welded to the bulldozer, which looked like an upside down Dumpster. After the third explosion failed, officials cut their way in with a blowtorch, Holahan said.


A statement from Grand County Undersheriff Glen Trainor said the driver was found around 2 a.m.


Holahan said Heemeyer was armed with a .50-caliber weapon but appeared to be deliberately avoiding injuring anyone during the rampage, which began Friday at about 3 p.m. No other injuries were reported.


Trainor said the dozer's armor plates consisted of two sheets of half-inch steel with a layer of concrete between them.


Grand County Commissioner Duane Daley said Heemeyer apparently used a video camera and two monitors found inside to guide the dozer. Two guns were mounted in front and aimed through portals. Other portals were cut in the back.


It was unclear how many guns were found with Heemeyer. Authorities speculated Heemeyer he may have used a homemade crane found in his garage to lower the armor hull over the dozer and himself.


"Once he tipped that lid shut, he knew he wasn't getting out," Daly said.


Investigators searched the garage where they believe Heemeyer built the vehicle and found cement, armor and steel.


Residents of this mountain tourist town of 2,200 described a bizarre scene as the bulldozer slowly crashed through buildings, trees and lampposts, with dozens of officers walking ahead or behind it, firing into the machine and shouting at townspeople to flee.


"It looked like a futuristic tank," said Rod Moore, who watched the dozer rumble past within 15 feet of his auto garage and towing company.


One officer, later identified as Trainor, was perched on top, firing shot after shot into the top and once dropping an explosive down the exhaust pipe.


"He just kept shooting," Moore said. "The dozer was still going. He threw what looked like a flash-bang down the exhaust. It didn't do a thing."


A flash-bang produces a blinding flash and earsplitting boom designed to stun a suspect.

"Gunfire was just ringing out everywhere," said Sandra Tucker, who saw the bulldozer begin the rampage from her office on Main Street. "It sounded to me like an automatic rifle, firing about every second."

At least 40 deputies, Colorado State Patrol officers, federal park and forest rangers and a SWAT team from nearby Jefferson County were at the scene.

Town manager Tom Hale said Heemeyer was angry after losing a zoning dispute that allowed a cement plant to be built near his muffler shop. Heemeyer also was fined $2,500 in a separate case for not having a septic tank and for other city code violations at his business, Hale said.

When he paid the fine, he enclosed a note with his check saying "Cowards," Hale said.

"We felt he was venting his frustration that he didn't get his way," Hale said of the note. "We didn't think he was going to do something like this."

Trainor said he believes Heemeyer spent months armoring the bulldozer, and investigators were looking into whether he had help.

------------- These Crooks Have A Screw Loose --------------

If you're going to go through the trouble of breaking into a
shed, you might as well steal what's inside. Or you could
just steal the screws from the doors like one group of
burglars did. Police are confused as to why the thieves have
been breaking into sheds to steal only the screws. They even
ignored cans of beer stacked in one shed in favor of the
screws. The contents of another shed weren't even touched
except for the door being off the hinges. Pc Graham Kelly,
crime reduction officer, said: "Although we have got used to
burglaries where nothing is stolen, it is unusual for the
burglars to ignore beer in favor of hinge screws." Police
are still trying to catch two suspects in the "tidy shed"
burglaries.

AMMAM - Maybe this time it will be for good. A Jordanian man
is divorcing his wife for the third (and supposedly final)
time in three years. He accuses her of ruining him
financially because she spent countless hours on the phone.
"My wife would talk on the phone for hours with her sisters
and girlfriends to discuss recipes, clothes and the latest
fashion and I used to pay the monthly bill without complaint,"
the man identified as Abu Sami said. She even went so far as
to use the line to call international numbers to take part in
games run by Arab satellite channels. "The phone bills
represented threefold my salary," he said, adding that this
prompted the first divorce. Pressured by friends and family,
the couple got back together a second time - until she
resumed the hobby that broke up their marriage in the first
place. After a second divorce, they were pressured once again
to re-marry. Abu Sami recently filed for the third divorce.

LONDON - Here's one for the record books - a British man has
become the first person to be banned from EVERY hospital in
England and Wales. Norman Hutchins, 53, has harassed and
abused medical staff over 40 times since January in a quest
for surgical masks and gowns. He tried to add to his stash
of medical items by faking illness, or claiming to need
them for a dress run or an amateur play. "He has) caused
harassment, alarm and distress to NHS staff when attempting
to obtain gowns and surgical masks in person or on the
phone," an NHS spokesman said in a statement. Over 30
medical organizations banned him with civil injunctions, but
he kept moving to new areas. Hutchins' lawyer Harry Bayman
said his client "was not a well man," but accepted the
court's decision to ban him from all private and state-run
National Health Service hospitals and doctors' and dentists'
offices.