Lady in the Water

[Ghoul]

samo da zapljujem mesto za impresije o najnovijem remek nedelu šlajmalanovom.

dok ne budem u dovoljno mazohističkom moodu da se podvrgnem tome (a posle SELA, trebaće mi dugotrajne psiho pripreme!), evo nekih rivjua:

As numerous critics have noted, M. Night Shyamalan's Lady in the Water arrived pretty much dead in the water last weekend. Now, critic Rex Reed is administering a few flourishing kicks to the corpse. Writing in the New York Observer, Reed writes, "Hollywood cannot pollute the ozone with anything more idiotic, contrived, amateurish or sub-mental than Lady in the Water." That's the second sentence of his review. In his third sentence, he calls the movie, "this piece of pretentious, paralyzing twaddle." In his last sentence of the paragraph, he remarks, "In a war of wits, brains, imagination and talent, Mr. Shyamalan would be defenseless." One is left with the feeling that Reed didn't enjoy the movie.



na rotten t:
Reviews Counted: 145
Fresh: 29
Rotten: 116

Average Rating: 4.2/10

[Ghoul]

BISERI:

"If moviegoers are willing to go with the movie's questionable, sometimes painfully self-conscious flow, Shyamalan's new tale may once again sweep them into his idiosyncratic world."

-- John Wirt, ADVOCATE (BATON ROUGE, LA)

  "M. Night Shyamalan doesn't provide us with a big twist, but he does need a new writer. The movie is silly and funny in the wrong places "

-- Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM

  "A flaky ego trip disguised as a fairy tale."

-- Scott Von Doviak, FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM

  "The surprise here is that he's created a story mythology for this fantasy/thriller that's so ludicrous and convoluted that it's almost laughable. At times it seems his cast members are making up the story as they go."

-- Jeff Vice, DESERET NEWS, SALT LAKE CITY


  "A tedious, astonishingly irritating march through scene after scene of quasi-Jungian horse flop."

-- Rob Vaux, FLIPSIDE MOVIE EMPORIUM


-- Gary Thompson, PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS
  "You won't see anything else like it this summer, and you'll be really glad about that."

-- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION

  "When it's over you think: 'Really? That was it?' Maybe that's the twist."

-- Eric D. Snider, ERICDSNIDER.COM


  "None of this is fun to report from a critic's perspective. I'm a Shyamalan fan who greatly admires what he's trying to do, but Shyamalan's desperate desire to be the next Steven Spielberg has grown painful to witness."

-- Jeff Shannon, SEATTLE TIMES


  "For a movie constantly explaining itself, M. Night Shyamalan's Lady in the Water doesn't make a drop of sense."

-- Jeffrey Westhoff, NORTHWEST HERALD (CRYSTAL LAKE, IL)


  "It's an ambitious mess at best, and the invented mythology is delivered to the viewer with the subtlety of a sledgehammer."

-- John Venable, SUPERCALA.COM

  "A gaping psychic wound, a blood-spattered, pulsating tumor ripped violently from both its creator's head and, more fascinatingly, his heart, then planted onscreen, raw and unfettered, for all to come and see."

-- Keith Uhlich, SLANT MAGAZINE

  "The movie makes direct fun of standard Hollywood storytelling conventions, and that's enjoyable. But its utter lack of narrative discipline is just plain amateurish, not subversive."

-- Bob Strauss, LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS

  "Lady in the Water marks M. Night Shyamalan's official leap off the deep end. Not everyone agrees on Shyamalan's talent as a filmmaker, but few, up till now, have questioned his sanity."

-- Dana Stevens, SLATE

  "The only frightening thing about this horror fantasy film was in how bad it was."

-- Dennis Schwartz, OZUS' WORLD MOVIE REVIEWS


  "Performances are bang-on and characters fascinating right across the board, even Shyamalan's own -- but ultimately Lady in the Water capsizes under the weight of its own goofy story."

-- Marc Savlov, AUSTIN CHRONICLE


  "Far-fetched is the kindest thing to say about Lady in the Water, a disjointed and mind-numbing story."

-- Diana Saenger, REVIEWEXPRESS.COM

 "Lady in the Water challenges us to believe in the power of myth. But the big challenge here is surviving the tedium of Shyamalan's meandering inventiveness. What's supposed to be fanciful storytelling is really just audience punishment."

-- Stephanie Zacharek, SALON.COM


  "The movie is a muddle, burdened with too many characters and a sorry lack of thrills, flair and coherence. Yet Shyamalan's talent is real."

-- Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE


  "Unless he retains the poise and cool that made Sixth Sense stand out so conspicuously amid his body of work, we're not going to care about anything in his head."

-- Gene Seymour, NEWSDAY


  "Shyamalan's most alienating and self-absorbed project to date."

-- Lisa Schwarzbaum, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

[Ghoul]

hahhahahahaaa

kad se samo setim kako su ovom retardu svi u americi jeli iz ruke kad je izručio onaj nebulozno idiotski SIGNS!
količina dobrih kritika tom izmetu bila mi je tada nepojmljiva.
jedino su ljudi na ovom forumu videli svetlo, tj da je 'car' go!

a sad se lagano otvaraju oči čak i amerima.

evo ga reed u celosti koji je, javlja mi se, video svetlo:



Shyamalan's Latest Sham
http://nyobserver.com/20060724/20060724_Rex_Reed_culture_rexreed.asp
By Rex Reed

As vacation time nears, it is safe to say that no matter how rotten things get on the big screen during the rest of the summer, the worst of it is over. Hollywood cannot pollute the ozone with anything more idiotic, contrived, amateurish or sub-mental than Lady in the Water. This piece of pretentious, paralyzing twaddle is the latest in a series of head-scratchers by the incompetent, self-delusional M. Night Shyamalan. He's the writer, producer and director, and terrible at all three, but if that isn't bad enough, this time he has even gone one further and cast himself in one of the roles. I am here to tell you he is about as camera-ready as the corpse that Tommy Lee Jones dragged across the cactus in Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. In a war of wits, brains, imagination and talent, Mr. Shyamalan would be defenseless.

Lady in the Water is described by Mr. Shyamalan as a "bedtime story" he told to his kids. Do not even think of repeating it to yours unless you plan to turn them into runaways, orphans or worse. No sane person could do justice to the plot, since the plot is as comprehensible as the ukulele of Tiny Tim and the voice of Tom Waits, but it goes something like this: A strange apartment building called the Cove stands in the middle of what looks like a jungle in Tanganyika, but is really Philadelphia.


The super of this U-shaped, five-story, 57-unit junkyard is a creep with Tourette's syndrome named Cleveland Heep, played by Paul Giamatti, who ticks and stutters his way through a battery of mannerisms in a nerdy performance that is more annoying and affected than usual, which is saying a lot. Mr. Heep is always finding flotsam in the drain, and there is something wrong with the swimming pool. The water is slimy and at the bottom there's a secret world inhabited by a weird woman the color of kindergarten paste called a "narf." The narf, named Story and played by director Ron Howard's daughter, Bryce Dallas Howard, climbs out of the water naked and sleeps on Mr. Heep's sofa. She's a spirit who is trying to get back to the mythological Blue World at the bottom of the ocean on the wings of a giant eagle called the Great Eatlon, but she's in danger of being clawed to death by vicious green carnivores called "scrunts" who look like warthogs covered with sea grass. The scrunts have poison claws; three scratches and you die. The only things that can save a narf are the "Tartutics," who live in the trees of Philadelphia and look like Margaret Hamilton's flying monkeys from Oz.

All of this may be going on right now, says Mr. Shyamalan, in your own backyard. He needs a room with a view, with bars on the windows and no sharp objects.

Meanwhile, the super summons the tenants in the Cove to act as human vessels and protect Story from the hairy scrunts until the Great Eatlon arrives and flies her back to the world she came from. This ecosystem includes Freddy Rodríguez as a lopsided weight lifter who only works on one side of his body; Mary Beth Hurt as an old woman who collects animals; Bill Irwin as a stoop-shouldered recluse who hides in his television set; Jeffrey Wright as part of a father-son combo that does crossword puzzles; Cindy Cheung as a Korean college girl whose mother knows the bedtime story about the lady in the water but only reveals one clue at a time to spread the movie to a length of just under two hours of tedium; and Bob Balaban as a movie critic who has seen so many horror films he can predict the endings (just as every movie critic I know can predict the ending of every movie by M. Night Shyamalan).

The tenants take on the roles of the ancient characters in the Blue World and act as symbolists who can read clouds, and guilds who can solve the problems of the universe with their hands, communicating the clues to the spirit world on cell phones. Mr. Shyamalan plays the most boring one of all and, to his credit, gives himself the dullest dialogue. Alas, the solution to all the ancient puzzles of the spirit world is reserved for the crossword-puzzle child, who finds the answers to the plagues against mankind on a box of Cheerios!

Before Big Bird flies in like a 747, Story escapes the carnivorous scrunts, who eat the cynical movie critic instead. Therein lies another of Mr. Shyamalan's secret fantasies—inspired, for obvious reasons, by his reviews. I was sorry to see the critic end up like one of the tourists in Jurassic Park, because he speaks the only line in the movie that makes one lick of sense: "There is no originality left in the world. That's a sad fact I've learned to live with."

I like whimsy, fantasy and artistic license as much as the next guy trying to get in touch with his inner 6-year-old child, but to succeed, even a fairy tale must be believable. This movie is more about arrogance than anything else. A whole book has just been published about Mr. Shyamalan's reckless budget, myopic vision and refusal to throw in the towel, after at least six Walt Disney executives flew to Philadelphia to meet with him before admitting they didn't understand the script. Only the accountants will ever know if they were prophets or fools, but in my opinion, when Disney turns you down on the basis of incoherence, you know it's time for a reality check. Who knew there were that many smart producers at Disney?

[Black Mamba]

dosta bre vise

[princeza Brambila]

Bolje da si sam ispljuvao film, ako si ga gledao, nego sto kopiras ovolike kritike.

[Lurd]

Bolje da si sam ispljuvao film, ako si ga gledao, nego sto kopiras ovolike kritike.

Ako si mu rekla.

[Ghoul]

Bolje da si sam ispljuvao film, ako si ga gledao, nego sto kopiras ovolike kritike.

Ako si mu rekla.

šta ću, princezo, kad me gospod bog nije obdario originalnim mišljenjem i sudovima te moram, jadan, da kopiram tuđe.
imaj razumevanja i za one kojima nije dato da im svaki sud bude - čisto 100% njihov!
ne budi tako stroga...

[Tex Murphy]

Sve te negativne komentare smatram malicioznim pokušajima nedobronamjernih kritičara da se upropasti karijera jednog velikog umjetnika. Siguran sam da je Lady In The Water u najmanju ruku remek-djelo.

[Bilja]

Ja gledala samo Village. Pretenciozno do bola. A dooooosadnoooo. Jedno 80% vremena filma sam se bavila necim drugim.
Signs nisam gledala ali od onih koji jesu, nisam cula nista posebno pozitivno.

[Truba]

ja sam sajnse gledao na VHSu koji je snimljen na onom fast play a moj video nije imao fast nego slow pa sam sve gledao sa ubrzanim ritmom  

[Morticia]

Poželim da sam i ja tako odgledala tu polu-uspešnu komediju.

[princeza Brambila]

šta ću, princezo, kad me gospod bog nije obdario originalnim mišljenjem i sudovima te moram, jadan, da kopiram tuđe.
imaj razumevanja i za one kojima nije dato da im svaki sud bude - čisto 100% njihov!
ne budi tako stroga...

Ne postoji nijedan sud cak  i genijalnog coveka koji je 100% njegov. To je nemoguce.
Htela sam da kazem da bi mi bilo interesantnije da si ga ti ispljuvao, pa cak i nestrucno, nego da citam ovoliki tekst na engleskom. Bilo bi naprosto zivlje.

[milan]

Dakle, ja sam ocigledno jedan od retkih koji voli filmove gorepomenutog gospodina.

Najvise mi se dopao Unbreakable, verovatno zato sto sam ja sucker za superheroje.

Lady in the water nisam jos gledao pa o tom filmu ne mogu da sudim.

[Tex Murphy]

Nisi jedini.

[Black Mamba]

ocena na imdb-u se naglo popela na 6.3 za Lady in the Water... hmm, mozda je trik/uspeh bas u tome da film izgleda sasvim neubedljivo

[KulFejs]

[Morticia]

Meni možda ponajviše u svemu ovome smeta sličnost naslova Lady in the Water i Lady in the Lake.

[Kunac]

Meni možda ponajviše u svemu ovome smeta sličnost naslova Lady in the Water i Lady in the Lake.

Zanimljivo je što si to zapazila... Ja upravo čitam Lady in the Lake.